Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them

Hey, have a look at this

Ohhhhhh the irony!

Not being one….

Not being one to blow my own trumpet but I got a mention in the Scotland on Sunday newspaper on………er Sunday! He was talking about Bob Wyatt……but mentioned the blog 🙂

You can view the scanned article here which was kindly sent to me by Tom over at A View From the Bridge

AGM Nonsense (God must love stupid people; He made so many)

So the AGM of the Kelvin was last night.
I wonder sometimes, I really do. First of all we had the proposition to make the stretch at the vet school fly only. This I admit was mostly my idea. That part of the river is pretty much hammered not just by the odd guy but by groups of guys that leave a large amount of mess behind after them. Empty cans beer, buckfast bottles the lot. Lenghs of Nylon and empty crisp bags.
The confirmed bait fishers refused outright saying that there are a lot of disabled anglers, in wheelchairs, that fish down their regulary. Now, you know that I pretty much fish down their all the time and I can honestly say that I have never seen anyone in a wheelchair in the good few years that I have fished. Anyway, the proposal was thrown out. It was amended with the rule that bait fishers will give way to fly anglers. Oh yea, like THAT will work. We could have had an amendment saying that disabled anglers could use bait but nah!!

Wait till you hear these two startling suggestions………

Can we stock with rainbow trout

I mean honestly, you have a wild brown trout river and these buggers want to turn it into some kind of fish pond. Saying that, we could fence off the vet school and stock it with rainbow trout, that would keep em happy!!

Can we extend the season into November for Salmon and Sea Trout

Fantastic idea, we are talking about limiting the anglers fishing at the mouth of the Allander because they are killing all the fish, and these anglers want to extend the season to kill more fish. Now lets think about it, well I suppose the thing that is standing in the way of this is like………I dunno……..THE LAW for one. Jeepers, I ask you!!!

Essentially, the AGM consisted of people wanting to know how they could catch more bigger fish for longer. One person did ask how clean the river was coming along and that was that. Did anyone ask about conservation?? trout habitat??? Nah, kill em all and then moan about the crap fishing.
If this is the general attitude of people fishing the Kelvin then it is fucked!!

Fishing Crap!!

I mean you have got to wonder dont you, like where they come up with this stuff!!
Here wa have the amazing fishing gun!!!
target fisherman

The Target Fisherman is made from super-strength polycarbonate material which assures normal-use durability and long-life. The Zebco Micro 11 reel comes pre-wound with 8lb-10lb test line.


Class, sheer class!!! Other features include ” an Integrated fishing rod” and an “Adjustable-position clip-on flashlight / laser pointer mount”

You couldnt make this stuff up!!

Swedish not Dutch!!!!


Before I get lynched I must point out that Ikea are in fact Swedish…..NOT Dutch!!!

I shall put it down to large amounts of red wine pickling my brain!

Thankyou to Dave for pointing that little mistake out!!

Fly Tying Storage

You need somewhere to store all your fly tying stuff right?? You cannot afford a couple of grand on an oak bench so what do you do?
You count on the dutch to come up with a practical solution that also looks cool as well. I think so anyway. When I first went to a Fly tying class a good few years ago now (I was 15ish) I was amazed at all the old guys fly tying boxes. They were all wooden boxes with special attachments for the vice etc. They had many little drawers and nooks for storing things. They had made the boxes themselves , were talking real men here!!!. I was always jellous as I had mine in a big plastic tool box that was pretty pap. Oh if only we had an Ikea in those days……
ikea box
A good few drawers, a few big a few small…..very good. Comes unvarnished , but if you know anyone artistic you could get them to paint something nice on it…….like a fish…..or a flower….
I am going to have “I am HOOKED on RADIATION” on the back of mine.

Red Wine & Kelts

Red Wine….love the stuff. Once I start I cant stop. I mean well…….a couple of (decent) glasses is like half a bottle right? If you keep it for another day but with a stopper in it will taste just as nice, if not better. Better because the air has had a chance to get around it maybe?
What has this to do with fly fishing? nowt! I just like red wine ok!!!

I was speaking to a friend the other day who lives on the banks of the Kelvin. Or rather in some tenements close to it. They were telling me that the river was up waaaaaaaay higher than it has been in a while. I suppose the good thing is that all the kelts will be getting washed out to sea nice and quick, however the bad news is that if the salmon got a chance to spawn then the actuall eggs may have been washed away as well.

Thats interesting!!

Someone left a comment on this post that was pretty interesting. I am reposting it here as I have configured the blog to only show the last 5 posts or something. Some people were complaining that as I post pictures it was taking a while for the full month to load……you live n learn I suppose!!

Quote “Water bailiffs around the loch have twice caught fishermen with containers of live barbel, which can grow up to 20lb and which feed on eggs of other fish.”

Utter rubbish. Any coarse angler worth there salt knows that Barbel are fast water fish. It would be extremely unlikely that (a) they would survive in the loch, (b) that they would spawn and © they would eat other fishes eggs, although this cannot be ruled out as ALL fish, especially Brown Trout, will scoff eggs if they are hungry enough.
Also, the British record has only just gone over 20 pounds in the last few months, and this was an exceptionale fish. The Scottish record stands officially at 8 lb..bit of a difference there. What has probably happened is baliffs have caught people with Gudgeon, a fish sometimes used as live bait for Pike. These fish grow to 6oz or so but look like baby barbel

Why Fishing Is Better Than Sex

And theres more!

When you go fishing and you catch something, that’s good. If you’re making love and you catch something, that’s bad.

Fish don’t compare you to other fishermen neither and don’t want to know how many other fish you caught.

In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In loving you lie about the one you caught.

You can catch and release a fish, you don’t have to lie and promise to still be friends after you let it go.

You don’t have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.

You can catch a fish on a 20-cent nightcrawler. If you want to catch a woman you’re talking dinner and a movie minimum.

Fish don’t mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing

Twenty Differences between Fishing and Sex

Taken from a forum I Frequent!!#

20 – No matter how much whisky you’ve had, you can still Fish.
19 – A limp rod is still useful while Fishing.
18 – You don’t have to hide your Fishing magazines.
17 – It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with you once
in a while.
16 – The Ten Commandments don’t say anything against Fishing.
15 – If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you Fishing, you don’t
have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.
14 – Your Fishing partner doesn’t get upset about people you fished with
long ago.
13 – It’s perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.
12 – When you see a really good Fishing person, you don’t have to feel guilt
about imagining the two of you Fishing together.
11 – If your regular Fishing partner isn’t available, he/she won’t object if
you Fish with someone else.
10 – Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you Fish by
9 – When dealing with Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are
really an undercover cop.
8 – You don’t have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighbourhood to buy
Fishing stuff.
7 – You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Fishing
jokes, and invite co-workers to Fish with you without getting sued for
Fishing harassment.
6 – There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.
5 – If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don’t have to subscribe
to the Playboy channel.
4 – Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your
3 – Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner loses interest in
2 – You don’t have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy
your favourite activity.
1 – Your Fishing partner will never say, “Not again? We just fished last
week! Is Fishing all you ever think about?

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