Yon big waste a space!!

I see that the the Scottish Pairlament has translated part of its website into good ole Scots language

An extract

Walcome til the Scottish Pairlament wabsite

The Scottish Pairlament is here for tae represent aw Scotland’s folk.

We want tae mak siccar that as mony folk as can is able tae find oot aboot whit the Scottish Pairlament dis and whit wey it warks. We hae producit information anent the Pairlament in a reenge o different leids tae help ye tae find oot mair.

This section o wir wabsite introduces ye til the information that is tae haun on wir wabsite in Scots.

Gettin involvit in the Scottish Pairlament

We hae producit a publication cried “Makkin Yer Voice Heard in the Scottish Pairlament” that tells ye aboot the different weys that you can let the Pairlament and the Memmers o the Scottish Pairlament (MSPs) ken whit ye think.

I hear the translator started off at 50p per paragraph and ended up getting paid 6.5 million for the page!

Derbyshire Limestone Streams

I am having a look through Amazon for ideas for somewhere to go special next year. This looks like a mighty fine DVD. Somewhere special eh? hmmmm!!

Experience Fly Fishing - Derbyshire Limestone Streams

5 Days!!

So the last few days I have been stressed out my box writing an essay. I will not be getting any respite as in the morning I start my new social work placement. To distract myself I have been not shaving. I have been feeling rather manly as my stubble has been growing longer than usual. Every now and then I rub it and leer at my partner and go “oOOOHHHHH arrr Im a REAL man now” ……and then walk with a swagger , usually on the way to get my dyson (which changed my life by the way..it gets the dust out of ALL the corners)
On the fishing front I have been doing absolutley heehaw. I have been enjoying corresponding with the usuall suspects and with some new people as well…..which is always nice. I may in a couple of days put up another stat post, you would be amazed at the things that people search for to get here….some interesting and some down right scary.
Couple of interesting links for you…..first is a Spey Fly I spotted on ebay tied by Walt Johnson which is pretty unique…it has a buy it now price of 150 US which just goes to show you when someone offers you a fly always take it…you never know who might turn out famous. I have recently met some mighty fine fly tyers and I reckon I will try and wangle a few flies out of them. On the other hand I have offered my flies to people and a few people have refused which I think is down right rude. If someone offers you a suggestion of a fly you take it…with a smile. Heck, my flies catch fish, especially on the Kelvin…….although that may be just out of sympathy for the duffer that I am!!
The second link is the “Women in Waders” calender. Is there a market for that crap?

Hum ho…..

Salmon Farms & Jamie Oliver selling his soul to the devil!!

wanker
Someone mentioned on a forum that I visit about the new advert for Sainsbury’s supermarket with Jamie Oliver. For those unaware who he is, Mr Oliver is a cheeky cockney celebrity chef. In the advert he is going on about how good the salmon taste and all that jazz. He is also pushing the whole Scottish scene. :/What he fails to mention is that the fish swim about in their own excrement and are treated like battery farm chickens (badly). There are around 50,000 in a single cage. It contributes greatly to the spread of infectious diseases and parasitic infestation. They often escape and spread their disease to wild fish. The cages themselves are like open sewers allowing chemicals and waste go into clean water…..ruining the environment.
This info is taken direct from the Salmon farm monitor website

Wild salmon get their red pigment from eating a natural diet. Farm salmon are fed an artificial diet containing synthetic chemical colorants, such as Canthaxanthin and Astaxanthin, manufactured by the Swiss Pharmaceutical firm Hoffman La Roche. Farmers use a colour-code chart, a “SalmoFan”, similar to the colour charts we use to select paint, to choose a flesh colour for their fish.
colout chart

But who is going to buy salmon like that unless you get a “respected” chef like Jamie Oliver to say its ok… to go on about the taste and 100% natural salmon.
A good, and by good I mean essential viewing is Paul Nicklen’s superb flash presentation on Atlantic salmon…it can be found Here
over at the national geographic website!!

Scotsman Joke

The Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.
“Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any knickers?” her husband demanded.
“Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.”
The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s £50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.”

Next, the Irishman’s wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she is wearing no undies.
“Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You’ve no knickers. Why not?”
She replies, “I can’t afford any on the money you give me.”
He reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s £20.
Go and buy yourself some underwear!”

Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.
“Sweet mudder of Jesus, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?”
She too explains, “You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.”
The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, “Well, fer the love ‘o Jasus, ‘n the sake of decency, here’s a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit.”

May he rest in peace!!

I can see it now “Local Angler Dies in FREAK wader accident” and underneath “possibly a sex maniac”
I am stressed out writing an essay that is due in shortly. So before I start for the day I am procrastinating rather heavily. I wanted to try on my new waders again as I am still not convinced that they fit me. Anyway, we do not have a proper mirror in the flat; all we have is a door with a mirror on it from an old wardrobe. I took it through to my lounge and placed it on top of the radiator. It is very tall and heavy. I put on my waders and boots, my waistcoat and then my chest pack. I was procrastinating OK!!!
It was at around the time that I was thinking of getting my rod out and swishing it around the room when the mirror fell on top of my head. I fell to the ground and just lay there stunned for a few minutes. I could imagine the scene, Claire crying, the police trying to draw a chalk outline around my body with my foot long silver rod case sticking out. “So, you say that he just LIKED wearing waders around the house?”
The tabloids would have had a field day, and lets not forget the jokes at the funeral. “Oh at least he died doing something he loved ……kind of!!”

Thank God I wasnt eating an orange at the time thats all I can say !!!

New Fly Reel

So after getting my new little six foot 3 weight rod I just HAD to get myself a new reel…..I got this snazzy little number
reel
Should look quite nice on the end of my 3 weight. All I need now is one of those dinky little leader links
links
which is just know I will get the wee taken out of me when i use them but I shall be DEFIANT to the end. I was thinking about the scientific anglers ones but with those you have to buy both leader and the widget from SA…..which I think is kinda shady! (also they would not send me any free ones to try out …im boycotting them :) )

Hotties!!!

Nothing beats a hot water bottle or two..
hottie
There is something special about a hot water bottle when it is absolutley freezing outside, something that is not captured by an electric blanket. Electric blankets are just plain boring, switch them on switch them off….I am still paranoid after my Granny told me that if you sweat too much it will electrocute you during the night…..while you sleep.
So I have a nice safe hottie bottle. It can be moved around to areas that need it most…all around your feet , up your legs…on your chest. It also combats the excruciating agony of having my partners icy cold feet (like her heart) rubbing up and down my legs “oooOOOOhhhhh but yooooooooor so HOT”
So I bought two Hotties!!

River Kelvin Book

Here is a book about the Kelvin

The book is the first full-length account of the Kelvin.
From its source near Kilsyth to its confluence with the Clyde, the Kelvin is a river of startling contrasts. From meandering stream to the dramatic and picturesque river at the heart of Glasgow. This superb book tells the fascinating story of the river and its main tributaries-the Glazert, the Luggie and the Allander. It also looks in detail at the thriving and attractive communities along its banks: from Kirkintilloch to Kelvingrove, Kilsyth to Kelvinside, and Milngavie to Maryhill. Famous people abound:Charles Rennie Mackintosh, the Red Comyn, Thomas Muir, Lord Lister and, of course,Lord Kelvin.The sweep of the book is impressive and it encompasses the widest possible range of subjects from history to architecture, geography to literature, and archaeology to ecology.

Glasgow's Other River: Exploring the Kelvin

It would be nice to get it for my christmas…….here it is in my Amazon wish list if there is any members of my family wondering what to buy me. Or anyone else for that matter. :)

Rewards

I met a guy this year that had just started to fish the fly. I watched him for a while drifting a wet fly down and across a little pool I enjoy. I was upstream a bit concentrating on a tiny wee riffle. I walked down for a natter. He was saying that pretty much the only way he knew hoe to fly fish was the down and across style and seemed pretty embarrassed about it. I thought it was a fine way to start out, jeepers that was the way I spent my first couple of seasons catching trout on the river. It was only after reading lots of magazines and books and getting advice from people on the net that I started experimenting with other ways. I would then concentrate on that for a few weeks……like only ever fishing upstream wet….until I had caught a few fish. Then moving on to trying dry and so forth. Although I seem to have got stuck in that phase! Anyway, it was a pretty much chuck it and chance it affair as I was learning as i went along ,the rewards to you of figuring things like that out by yourself are pretty self evident.
Anyway, I told him it was a good time as every time you went fishing you learnt something new about where fish lived and how to catch them. I took him up to a little riffle that I was fishing and showed him where fish would be sitting…..he didn’t believe me. I caught three little brownies out of that little spot in front of him, then gave him my fly.

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