Full of enthusiasm I got to the canal at around 1000. It was freezing cold and within 20mins my hands were all blotchy and my fingers numb. The boats started to cruise up and down mixing up all the silt – “bugger this” – I thought, “I am away home”.
Beer, Fishing, Sex and Golf
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” “No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.
“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” the man asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?” the man asked. “What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?” exclaimed the homeless man.
“Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?”
the man asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”
“Well,” said the man, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”
The homeless man was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
The man replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, sex and golf.”