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Kelvinography – A boozer and a couple of birds!

7 February, 2010 by Alistair

Two photos kindly submitted by Peter D in the forum – A boozer called “Kelvin Dock” and then a photo of the actual “Kelvin Dock” with a couple of what looks like giant vultures waiting to steal some fish next to it (you can post if you know what the birds are)

[singlepic id=95 w=320 h=240 float=center]

[singlepic id=94 w=320 h=240 float=center]

The Kelvin Dock pub looks like a lovely typical reputable establishment – I hear Kelvinator Campbell went in for a quick “lager and lime” the other week –“Ah dinnae do cocktails” was the answer at the bar. He should have known better – someone asked him if he was carrying any weapons on the way in – he said no so they gave him a blade.

The actual Kelvin dock itself is rumoured to hold enormous Pike – I have caught a few jacks out of it but nothing of any great size.

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15 thoughts on “Kelvinography – A boozer and a couple of birds!”

  1. theswami says:
    8 February, 2010 at 12:13 am

    I’m no birdwatcher but I think they’re cormorants. I’ve been campaigning all decade for us who fish the Kelvin to adopt the Kingfisher as our symbol. The Friends of the River Kelvin will be kicking themselves when they see it. They could’ve had a breathtaking kingfisher but instead they chose a dirty stinkin cormorant. Doh. We should seize this logo now before the canoeists get it.

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  2. Peter D says:
    8 February, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    I thought I said they were cormorants when I posted the photos, must have forgot. It was the cheeky little sod in the background I was more interested in.There were three others in the pond breaking the surface every now and again. Peter

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  3. Alistair says:
    8 February, 2010 at 9:51 pm

    Al – you should propose that at the AGM – say that as the club has a new feel and look about it then a new logo would be good as well.

    Probably better than balaclavas and baseball bats 🙂

    Oh God – better watch what I say – everything I write seems to be taken completely seriously these days 🙂

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  4. Peter D says:
    8 February, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    Alistair, unfortunately it would take more than that, to get some to see reason.I think your old friend is trying to build a nest there too, judging by the contents of one of the posts.
    Let`s hope Thursday night doesn`t end in choas.regards Peter

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  5. Jockayethenoo says:
    8 February, 2010 at 10:55 pm

    Aye it’s a shame, the AGM should be a time for fellow Kelvin fishermen to come together and discuss with the committee in a sensible manner how to progress what’s best for the river, instead the muppets, the morons and the malcontent’s, who wouldn’t know sense if they tripped over it, will just want to shout, nitpick and argue……. sad!

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  6. Alistair says:
    9 February, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    I am well out of it now – in one of his emails he actually threatened me and my family as I made a bit of a sick comment about his deceased friend – considering I have lost most of my family to cancer (including both parents) my humour tends to lean towards the black side around shit like that.

    Basically I told him that his deceased president must be spinning in his grave considering he had brought his club into such disrepute – Rays name and his clubs name is a laughing stock in the angling world now because of his actions.

    His email:

    LET ME MAKE THIS PLAIN TO YOU ALISTAIR.

    IF YOU EVER MAKE ANOTHER SICK, DEPRAVED, INAPPROPRIATE – OR ANY – COMMENT ABOUT THIS MAN, THE DATE AND VENUE OF THE AGM WILL BE PUT UP ON POSTERS IN THE BEECHWOOD BAR ALONG WITH YOUR PHOTOGRAPH AND YOUR POSTCODE.

    I AM SURE THAT MANY OF HIS FRIENDS, NEIGHBOURS AND COLLEAGUES WOULD LOVE TO PAY YOU A VISIT TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON HAVING SUCH A HUMOROUS WRITING STYLE.

    He resorts to threatening behaviour – I have a young baby to think of and I want to have no more part in this “issue” he has with me.

    Fuck it – life’s too short for shit like this.

    A*

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  7. Jockayethenoo says:
    9 February, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    we’ve all said things we regret Alistair, especially if we are being “continuously” harassed and aggravated by some sleekit merchant banker like Ray Urie, he’s the one that should be ashamed of himself, he seems to forget it is him that started all this nonsense and is stirring up all the bad feeling, it’s him that’s been embarrassing himself and his club by his behaviour, nobody else, just you Ray… and I think it’s a measure of the man that he threatens you by proxy… he’s nothing but a cowardly keyboard Rambo….

    Jim

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  8. buster says:
    10 February, 2010 at 8:41 am

    This is getting stupid crazy,this issue needs to be put to bed once and for all at the AGM.

    On a lighter note that flash material you gave me Jim is brilliant for baitfish imitations. Cheers

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  9. Peter D says:
    10 February, 2010 at 11:30 am

    The comments on Del`s forum from this guy, are getting ridiculous. I`m giving up on forums, they`re no fun when guys like this can become members and post garbage like this. Chin up Alistair. Regards Peter.

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  10. Alistair says:
    10 February, 2010 at 11:32 am

    I do not think this will be put to bed at the AGM – this guy has a vendetta against me personally – threats of personal violence are never funny – there are a lot of strange people out there.

    “Saying things you regret”

    It does not help when you are full of the sangria Jim – however it shows just how dangerous this whole situation is – my wife now wants me to go to the police as she is scared that she and my son are going to be attacked by people from the Beechwod Bar.

    In all my professional career of working with gang members, serious offenders and other folk who have made poor life choices I have never felt threatened in any way – hell – probably quite the opposite – now over something as trivial as fishing I find myself worrying that I may end up being attacked.

    It is a sad day – a sad sad day indeed.

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  11. Jockayethenoo says:
    10 February, 2010 at 11:45 am

    Hi “buster” 😎

    I spoke to the girl that originally got me that material yesterday, says she will get me more in the next week or two 😎

    remind me to give you my contact details tomorrow night at the AGM…

    Cheers
    Jim

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  12. Jockayethenoo says:
    10 February, 2010 at 11:54 am

    Alistair
    Strathclyde’s finest don’t like people handing out veiled threats… contact them and tell them of your concerns, it will do no harm and might put your wife’s mind at ease… a visit from the Police might be just what Ray needs!

    Cheers
    Jim

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  13. alan atkins says:
    10 February, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    Alistair, apity all this has to happen whne you’re supposed to be enjoying some winter sun. Personally, I wouldn’t be giving two hoots what this old joker is threatening. I very much doubt that he has the ability or influence to carry out any threats, and I doubt that the pub in question would take too kindly to the adverse publicity. However,having a family myself, I do understand your concern and so I would probably have to agree with Jockeyethenoo that a visit from the coppers is probably exactly what Ray needs. Iam not one to encourage contact with the police on angling related matters, but if tyou are receiving threats against your family, then report it! You know what my feeling sare towards Ray and how to deal with him, but the police are probably the correct road to go down. Personally, I would allow him to the AGM,and have some choice words with him , in private !!

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  14. Jockayethenoo says:
    10 February, 2010 at 7:36 pm

    I used to drink in the Kelvin Dock on a Thursday night. One of my pals lived in a street behind it and it was a handy location for a few of us to meet up before we went down to Byers Road to sample the real ale in the 3 Judges… at that time, several years ago, the bar manager was a big choochter, a hell of a nice guy from the higland and islands… we were always in early, 7 o’clock, so the pub was quiet, a few regulars maybe, we never had anything other than a warm welcome from the locals… I heard a couple of years back the big man had retired to the islands!!

    Jim

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  15. Alistair says:
    11 February, 2010 at 9:27 am

    I say an early season drink should be on the cards – in fact – on the “forum meet and greet” session we could all retire to the Kelvin Dock for a nice cup of tea !

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