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So I happened upon a man masturbating in the park the other evening..

15 August, 201315 August, 2013 by Alistair

Good evenings fishing interrupted by chap with his jeans and pants at his ankles in the bushes, he coughed and tried to pull them up.

I looked him straight in the eye and said “Awright Mate”

He carried on and I fished the pool in front of him.

It was all a bit awkward!

I posted it to twitter..

@Urbanfisher Fair play to him!

— Matt Eastham (@NCA_Matt) August 13, 2013

@Urbanfisher what kind of fly we’re you using?

— Sean Black (@seanski87) August 13, 2013

 

@Urbanfisher No danger! Where abouts?

— Glasgow Runner (@GlasgowRunner) August 13, 2013

So a mixture of admiration, curiosity about what attracts nature masturbation addicts and a weird need to know the location of the masturbatory action was the general theme on twitter for the rest of the evening.

As an aside I overheard two boys discussing wanking while I was travelling on the bus the other day, one asked the other “You ever had a suicide wank?” the other boy asked him what it was. “Well, you go at it as hard as you can and just as your are aboot tae cum you shout as loud as you can fur yer Maw. Its suicide if you huvnae finished by the time she gets tae yur room”

I cannot decide whether to shut the comments or not, what the hell, lets see what you guys have to say!

 

 

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7 thoughts on “So I happened upon a man masturbating in the park the other evening..”

  1. Matt Eastham says:
    15 August, 2013 at 8:25 pm

    Well according to Roger’s Profanisaurus, a ‘Blood Wank’ is:

    “The ill-advised and possibly life-threatening act of gentlemanly relaxation that takes the day’s tally into double figures”

    Lovely post mate, solid gold!
    M

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  2. Glasgow Runner says:
    16 August, 2013 at 8:49 am

    Nothing weird about the need to know the whereabouts of this gentleman and his pursuits in outdoor handmanship. I’ve been witnessing a lot of lone gents milling about the Dawsholm Park area, peeking out from behind bushes, no doubt looking to make ‘friends’ with other lone gentleman. Now, I could be mistaken and this is actually the sneaky tactics employed by RKAA bailiffs in an effort to snare poachers, but i’m not taking any chances. Especially looking as sexy as I do in a pair of £30 PVC chest waders.

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  3. Alex says:
    16 August, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    A lesser mortal would be scarred for life by that, especially when you looked at said knuckle-shuffler “straight in the eye”.

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  4. celt12345 says:
    18 August, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    That made me laugh out loud. ….urban fishin…I take my hat off to you.

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