Attack of the Rottweilers

So I am just back from the Kelvin – before I tell you about the session I thought I would tell you my experiance with the dogs – I have the best scary dog story to beat anyone now – you see lots of guys down the Kelvin complain about the dogs and dog walker agencies that let the dogs run wild and generally mess up the fishing.

Never again will I complain!

Blissful Calmness

There I was calmly fishing away at a nice riffle, I had noticed some people in the bushes – drinking by the looks of things but I paid them no mind – suddenly I heard a commotion – out of the bushes came five huge Rottweilers running towards me – barking, growling and snarling.

I kid ye not – my life flashed in front of my eyes – this is it – I thought – I am about to be in the papers for all the wrong reasons – I am about to be eaten!

I have no idea what you are supposed to do when this happens – I guess getting down to their level and baring your teeth and growling back is not the thing to do – which is good as I raised my rod so that my fly did not catch one of the beasts and looked at the river with a faint smile on my lips – one of them had its face and jaws so far up my ass I thought it was going for my balls – my penis by this point had retracted into my body – and my heart was racing akin to a cannibals drums when a very fat man has entered the jungle.

Times by 5 - you get the idea!

Back Sabre” –  a chap was shouting.

Release, release Titan” – a women was shouting.

Here Polly” – someone else was calling.

I just stood there – amongst the growling barking pack of hounds that had come straight out of hell.

They were running back to their masters and then running at me again – circling around me – obviously looking for weak spots – If one had started to hump me – by heck I would have let it.

Eventually they were back with there owners – “any broonies mate?” – one called.

Around a dozen witty come backs sprang to mind not least of which was “only in my pants you bastard” however I shook my head and moved on.

Anyway, the fishing – I met one guy who had caught around 20 small trout in the runs I was just about to fish – which is why then I caught bugger all until I moved down the river to some fresh water. There was a tremendous amount of fly life on the water…

Good fly life!

However the trout did not start to respond until after a rather heavy burst of rain – I almost decided to head home however thought I should stick it out until dusk as the rain stopped.

You can see a chap fishing if you look close enough!

First few trout were small ones at only a few ounces – they were leader shy in the slow water and it took a while to get a proper drag free drift – eventually I had to use a very small cdc pattern.

A few ounces..

Still, they were a lot of fun – I found some slow moving deep water and some larger trout were slurping down a mixture of yellow mays and other olives – I did not see any Sedge on the water.

I finally caught a trout that gave a good account of itself – I had been targeting it for a good few minutes however in the failing light it was difficult to get a decent drift – I ended up using one of my standard (giant) comparaduns.

A nice wee Kelvin trout!

It must have been just shy of a quarter of a pound – possibly a smidgen under. As the hatch petered out I managed a few more smaller ones and then another slightly larger one.

Carbon Copy...

Again probably just shy of a quarter of a pound  – I forgot I had my tape measure in my pocket – I kinda wished I had measured them now.

As the light faded instead of the trout becoming more active the action died out – I did see one drunk guy staggering along the path though – I mean really staggering – totally blind drunk – he fell into some bushes and then wandered away – I decided if he was still around when I walked up I would check and make sure he was ok however he was gone.

All in all a lovely session – well, apart from having the shit scared out of me!

I suppose that it is all part of the joys of brownlining the Kelvin.

I think!

Pike Trip

This was as exciting as it got…

Kelvinography – Coachtrimming & Upholstery

Was out for a walk the other day and noticed a classic case of Kelvinography just a few mins from my house…

[singlepic id=110 w=520 h=440 float=center]

You got a coach needed some new seats?

Named after the Kelvin baby – that’s right the Kelvin.

You can check out some more Kelvinography here

Happy Monday – not long until the weekend!

Hiya – it is Monday and a bank holiday – if you are lucky enough to be off work then no doubt you will be going fishing – I am not lucky enough – I am just getting ready to leave.

It seems that people do not want to fish as it has not been raining in a while – it seems like just yesterday you could not fish because there was too much water so some people are never happy.

However most anglers are still out fishing rivers and enjoying it – ready to change their technique to the situation when the conditions come together.

And that is the key – the conditions have got to be right – the right temp (air and water), the right light, flies on the water – the usual stuff.

Conditions = not right

Last week I had a session with Atkins on the Kelvin – I fancied somewhere different on the river and he wanted to scope out spots for Salmon.

What we did not reckon on was interrupting a chap receiving some oral sex  – in the distance it looked like the chap was patting a dog – as we got closer she must have said enough is enough and sat down – poor girl did not even have enough time to rearrange her clothes. She did not exactly look happy when the guy proceeded to chat to us about fishing for 15 minutes  – regaling us with stories of tench on the canal – he had his priorities right that boy.

It seems that everyone is at it on the banks of the Kelvin at the moment – someone was saying in the Kelvin Forum that they were quite happily fishing away when two girls came down to the river bank armed with a camera – one then proceeded to strip off totally starker while the other one took pictures of her.

Anglers are also regularly propositioned by gay guys down by the river bank.

None of this behaviour surprises me – kitted out in waders, waistcoat, fishing hats,  sunglasses and carrying fly rods  I know anglers are  like sex magnets – when we are fishing at the river our only focus is on fishing and absolutely no hanky panky – I am also happily married which makes me doubly unavailable – anyway it is no wonder considering how much sex appeal we all give off that people strip off and want to have sex near us – we are like the equivalent of a honeymoon suite by the river.

If you go down to the woods today...

Anyway – we caught nothing that evening and did not get propositioned. We are pretty sure we spotted a Salmon lazily being spooked and I wanted to move some huge rocks into the river to create riffles.

Next trip out will probably be for Pike – anyone else been fishing?

Tenuous Fishing Photos 21/52

When not fishing – out hillwalking with the boy!

The boy does not walk much!

You can see more tenuous fishing photos here

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-05-30

  • A muddy ditch – once a burn with trout! http://twitgoo.com/x3i8l #
  • Just told my women men sometimes need to do man shit at man times of the day .. heading to the kelvin right now! #
  • Need to buy flowers … urgently! #

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I am still amazed!

.. I can take photos of lovely places and share them instantly!

Watching trout rise at the vet school

At the vet school just now – lots of trout rising …
image

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-05-23

  • Just back from a kelvin meeting …. good and interesting times are ahead! #

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Tenuous Fishing Photos 20/52

20th tenuous fishing photo is of a committee meeting of the KAA .

KAA Meeting

Willie Yeomans was in attendance – he updated us on his findings from the habitat survey and will soon need help from you guys!

Watch this space (and the official site)

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