Happy Monday – not long until the weekend!

Hiya – it is Monday and a bank holiday – if you are lucky enough to be off work then no doubt you will be going fishing – I am not lucky enough – I am just getting ready to leave.

It seems that people do not want to fish as it has not been raining in a while – it seems like just yesterday you could not fish because there was too much water so some people are never happy.

However most anglers are still out fishing rivers and enjoying it – ready to change their technique to the situation when the conditions come together.

And that is the key – the conditions have got to be right – the right temp (air and water), the right light, flies on the water – the usual stuff.

Conditions = not right

Last week I had a session with Atkins on the Kelvin – I fancied somewhere different on the river and he wanted to scope out spots for Salmon.

What we did not reckon on was interrupting a chap receiving some oral sex  – in the distance it looked like the chap was patting a dog – as we got closer she must have said enough is enough and sat down – poor girl did not even have enough time to rearrange her clothes. She did not exactly look happy when the guy proceeded to chat to us about fishing for 15 minutes  – regaling us with stories of tench on the canal – he had his priorities right that boy.

It seems that everyone is at it on the banks of the Kelvin at the moment – someone was saying in the Kelvin Forum that they were quite happily fishing away when two girls came down to the river bank armed with a camera – one then proceeded to strip off totally starker while the other one took pictures of her.

Anglers are also regularly propositioned by gay guys down by the river bank.

None of this behaviour surprises me – kitted out in waders, waistcoat, fishing hats,  sunglasses and carrying fly rods  I know anglers are  like sex magnets – when we are fishing at the river our only focus is on fishing and absolutely no hanky panky – I am also happily married which makes me doubly unavailable – anyway it is no wonder considering how much sex appeal we all give off that people strip off and want to have sex near us – we are like the equivalent of a honeymoon suite by the river.

If you go down to the woods today...

Anyway – we caught nothing that evening and did not get propositioned. We are pretty sure we spotted a Salmon lazily being spooked and I wanted to move some huge rocks into the river to create riffles.

Next trip out will probably be for Pike – anyone else been fishing?


  1. James Mann · May 31, 2010

    Happy Monday, right back at you.

    I got out fishing with my fishing buddy Jamie. It was really windy making it tough to control the canoe and casting was even harder but heck it’s fishing and I’d rather be out there on the water than sitting here in my home office, although I enjoy the view into our backyard, very peaceful.

    We had to stay close to the shore as the wind was blowing up white-caps that made canoing pretty scary. But, I am glad we went yesterday because today is far windier that it was then and I don’t think we would have been able to use the canoe at all.

    We were fishing chain pickerel in the weeds but they are hard to get with top water baits when the wind blows. But if the wind stops, even for a few minutes the water calms and these pickerel go wacky on the baits and makes all the fighting with the wind worth it. Great fun.

    Ha, I have never seen anyone doing the nasty in all the years I have been fishing an it’s going on about 40 years of fishing. I’m sure she was rather uncomfortable. 🙂

  2. Chuck Graves · May 31, 2010

    Always entertaining to read the postings, even while on vacation. I’ve got the family, which includes the 92 year old great grandmother, in Homosassa Florida. Managed to catch a sea trout on one of the rivers here on a shrimp pattern. Will try and ost some pics while here.

  3. Squigster · May 31, 2010

    Took a wander up the Clyde yesterday, and i only seen one fish rise in the 4hrs that I was there – I did manage to catch it though, a lovely 10″ brownie!!!

  4. Stuart_Lands · May 31, 2010

    Great post 🙂
    Was out this evening, no naked girls, but the trout are still rising and taking despite the low water, so it’s worth a try. The water is so clear at the moment I was watching a trout come right up and have a look at the fly before turning away – leading me to change the fly and catch him! Never seen that before, was fascinating 🙂

  5. Alistair · May 31, 2010

    James – nice story – it seems like every other week I hear about anglers stunbling into hanky panky 🙂

    Chuck – sounds great – what sze was the sea trout – are they the same Sea Trout we get in the UK? I take it they are?

    Squigster – now THAT sounds like an event – usually if I see one fish rise I fluff it by falling into the river in excitement!

    Stuart – I have no idea why people are giving up fishing just now – sure we have had a short spell of warm weather however the trout are still there and want to feed. No naked girls though – sounds like a half session 😉

  6. fishing tackle boxes · May 31, 2010

    I have been fishing for nearly 40 years and these hanky panky, distracting episodes are become more and more popular. Who said fishing was boring?

  7. David · May 31, 2010

    Me and a pal were fishing Carsington reservoir in the English Midlands a good few years ago, drifting about in the shallows picking up some lovely browns. On the bank was a courting couple really going for it, lots writhing and tongue down the throat etc much to our amusement. We were more surprised when they stood up to go and it turned out to be two ladies who looked across, waved at us, laughed and walked off arm in arm. They must have a great giggle winding up sad men in boats.

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