Ask me a question, on you go… ask!!

Ok, I am taking questions, this is not because I have ran out of things to write about (honest) but because it is now the close season and it would be nice to know what my punters (you) want to know.
Of course you might think I am some kind of expert in angling or something for the sheer fact that I think I might know the answer- this is in fact incorrect. Anyone who has fished with me knows that the only kind of expert I am is in fact being a fluky bastard.
Questions can be about anything- I will then answer them by posting here. If I get no questions I will then pretend that this never happened and will probably forget all about it.
Fire away, head over to my shiny new contact me page and fire off a question.


  1. Trout Underground · October 29, 2006

    How do you become a Fluky Bastard? Frankly, I aspire to fluky bastard. I’d love to be a fluky bastard.

    I’ve been told recently that I’m a selfish bastard, but I don’t think it’s nearly as good.

    I’m waiting.

  2. mike · October 29, 2006

    Will you buy me a boat?

  3. Alistair · October 29, 2006

    I might have known you two flunkeys would drag the tone right down to the gutter level……..I will answer your questions fully when I can be fucking bothered.



  4. Emanuele · October 29, 2006

    will you buy me a Bamboo rod?

  5. garry · October 29, 2006

    where abouts on the forth and clyde do yo fish for pike i fancy giving it a bash with the fly rod. cheers

  6. Alistair · October 29, 2006

    At last a question worth answering, I will ignore your faux paux as you did not use my new rather snazzy contact form that I spent around half an hour trying to get to work and even when I did get it to work it turned blue.
    However, I will answer in a post if you tell me where you live ?

  7. bob · October 29, 2006

    How’s the nector gathering going? Hard to find now that the flowers are dying off for winter?

  8. Trout Underground · October 29, 2006

    Clearly, this one of those boards where a guy can’t ask a simple question without invective.

    So I’ll try another. I remember reading some UK Stillwater magazines a few years ago, and they described pay-to-fish ponds where you killed every fish you caught and fish were replaced with other pellet-raised fish as they were caught.

    How is this viewed over there? Is there a stigma attached to this kind of fly fishing?

  9. Alistair · October 29, 2006

    Hey Tom,

    Only kidding about being angry at questions 🙂

    You would be appalled at some of the rainbow trout we catch. When I say “we” I actually mean other people (my pal Alex for example) as I do not usually fish for them. For a while their all I read in magazines was new record breaking rainbow trout being caught, it was/is common practice to rear a trout and feed it as much as possible with pellets, stock it in a pond so that someone catches it and gets there name in the local press and of course consequently the fishery gets lots of publicity. Inevitably they would have a bigger trout just waiting to slip in the water.
    A good article Tom is this one here:

    Just have a look at that slobby looking fish. It turns out the fish died almost as soon as it was in the water, its heart could not sustain the bulk of the fish.
    On the other side of the coin there are some good rainbow trout fisheries run sensibly. Sadly the most numerous are the ones that are an acre in size, over stocked with fat trout!

    You have places like in the states ?

  10. Trout Underground · October 29, 2006

    There are some very expensive private fisheries where the trout are fed on a schedule (to enormous size) and then caught by wealthy fly fishers (perhaps with more money than skill).

    They’re generally looked down upon.

    There are plenty of other pay-to-fish lakes where the fish are sometimes stocked (and a great size) and others where the trout are stocked small and grow bigger.

    In almost all cases (except for the first), the fisheries are catch and release.

    My thinking is that catching big fish there can be fun, but it’s not to be taken too seriously.

    Given the amount of public water we have here in the West, pay-to-cast fisheries aren’t all that common.

  11. Alistair · October 29, 2006

    Hi Tom,

    You see the issue here is that we have a whole section of fly anglers who think that “real” fishing is pulling a lure through the water and catching a 3- 10lb trout. They then come to the Kelvin and catch a 10inch trout and think it is a waste of time to catch a silly little trout- killing the trout in the process as that is what you do when you catch a fish…right!
    There is a school of thought over here that says leave them be as it keeps the wild rivers and lochs free of people that might exploit it but i dont know, i would like to see some more education at these “put and take” fisheries.

    Ay some point in the future I intend coming over your way, i am looking forward to it.

    You ever coming back over here ?

  12. Alex · October 29, 2006

    Those who condone stocked rainbow trout fisheries describe such places as the angling equivalent of visiting a brothel. These are often the same people that question why such places are so popular!! oh the irony!!!

    Seeing as this is a questions thread, here’s one for ya:

    I have a friend who wants to visit a brothel. What colour zonker would you recommend?


    Are guides therefore the angling equivalent of call girls?

    with keen anticipation


  13. john · October 29, 2006


    have you tried for salmon and sea trout on the kelvin and have you heard of any catches of these fish this year


  14. Trout Underground · October 29, 2006

    I’m afraid I don’t have any plans dragging me to Scotland in the foreseeable future. There’s so much to fish in the 50 miles surrounding my house that I may never leave, and that’s not taking Tennessee, Montana, Oregon and Idaho under consideration…

    As for guides, force-fed trout and brothels, well I’d have to disagree with Alex. Guides are more like pimps than the call girls themselves… 😎

  15. Alistair · October 29, 2006

    Hi John,

    I do not fish for salmon and sea trout myself but speak regularly to many people that do. The runs of migratory fish are increasing every year and I am under the impression that people do quite well. I think people mostly catch them spinning, although I think using the fly is an untapped resource on the river. Hope this helps 


  16. John · October 29, 2006

    Hi Alister- Question about the pike you caught on the Endrick. Was this the bit of river Endrick upstream of Drymen bridge, it looks a bit like the pool at the top of that stretch. Also, did you return for any more pike action or was this the only time you were allowed to fish on that part of the river. Cheers John

  17. Alistair · October 29, 2006

    Hi John,

    It is actually downstream of Drymen Bridge, and not too far at that. This was the last time- we were planning to go back but we were told rather firmly that we were let on as a favour…..I knew the farmers family and some old friends- i also spoke about My Sunday school picnics as we used to go to their farm. We could see the racehorses/show jumping horses in the next field. I would say dont risk it !


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