Polaroid Review – a lie, a half true and a true story (and stop telling me how sexy I look)

In my professional opinion as an opinionated person on the internet, I feel able to give you some advice on what bits of fancy plastic you should put over your eyes. Seeing as how I can not just say “Buy these and stop telling me how sexy I look!” I need to place some words, paragraphs and bang some bad grammar in front of it – so here we go….

I have three stories to tell you about my Polaroid Sunglasses – one is a downright lie, one is kind of true and one is totally true.

I will leave it up to you to decide which is which.

Story 1

I walked to the river and it was a bright evening – because I was wearing my fancy  Reach Polaroids  the light from the sunset did not distract me as I fell into the river caught a lovely trout of around a quarter of a pound. They yellow lenses meant that in the failing dark I could pick my way back along the riverbank only getting jaggy nettles on my arms,hands, down the side of my face and weirdly a bit on my nipple.

Story 2

I took the boy down to the canal – he was wearing his kids polaroids, he could see all the roach under the water – we caught one using a fishing Whip.

Story 3

I strolled through the Vet School wearing my Polaroid Voyagers, I was wearing them as it was bright – a startling beautiful 22 year old Italian goddess walking a dog (this does actually happen in the Vet School) walks up to me and in broken English says “Yoo arr verry Secksy,no, in yoor waderz and cool glasess!”

You cannot guess? Let me help you!

Normal sunglasses decrease the intensity of everything by the same amount. Polarized sunglasses can selectively eliminate the reflection from light coming from above the water surface.

You see certain surfaces, such as water, can reflect a great deal of light, and the bright spots can be distracting or can hide objects such as foot tripping boulders and the occasional fish. Good sunglasses can completely eliminate this kind of glare using polarization and also eliminate specific frequencies of light. Certain frequencies of light can blur vision, and others can enhance contrast. Choosing the right colour for your sunglasses lets them work better in specific situations. To a fly fisher this is pretty good as polarized glasses reduce the blinding effect of glare, they also reduce the effects of reflections on the water (clouds and trees) resulting in the water appearing slightly darker but more transparent.

Generally gray tints are great all-purpose tints that reduce the overall amount of brightness with the least amount of color distortion. Yellow or gold tints reduce the amount of blue light while allowing a larger percentage of other frequencies through. The yellow tint has the effect of making everything bright and sharp. Amber and brownish tints are also good general purpose tints.

However, not all polaroids are made equal – you can buy cheap polaroids everywhere that look exactly the same as the high-priced brand names for a fraction of the cost. Beware – not only will they be total crap at what you want them for they may actually damage your eyes in the long term as they may not block harmful UV. 

In terms of comfortableness the Voyagers and the  Reach glasses are great – I really could not ask for a better fit – they do not cause annoying pain around the ears or nose even with my handsome round head.

So buy these ones and stop telling me how sexy I look!