So I happened upon a man masturbating in the park the other evening..

Good evenings fishing interrupted by chap with his jeans and pants at his ankles in the bushes, he coughed and tried to pull them up.

I looked him straight in the eye and said “Awright Mate”

He carried on and I fished the pool in front of him.

It was all a bit awkward!

I posted it to twitter..

 

So a mixture of admiration, curiosity about what attracts nature masturbation addicts and a weird need to know the location of the masturbatory action was the general theme on twitter for the rest of the evening.

As an aside I overheard two boys discussing wanking while I was travelling on the bus the other day, one asked the other “You ever had a suicide wank?” the other boy asked him what it was. “Well, you go at it as hard as you can and just as your are aboot tae cum you shout as loud as you can fur yer Maw. Its suicide if you huvnae finished by the time she gets tae yur room”

I cannot decide whether to shut the comments or not, what the hell, lets see what you guys have to say!

 

 

Dock Crane Porn ##Fixed##

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The Urban Fly Fisher – 10 years old today!

Happy Birthday!

You wont find an older fly fishing blog that is for sure!

 

Thunder n’ lightning, very very frightening!

So I managed a sneaky wee flexi day from work today purely because of a childcare issue so I was presented with the opportunity to check out the Kelvin as it has pretty much been unmolested from me for a week or so.

Lord Kelvin making a note of how many times he has seen me this season!

Lord Kelvin making a note of how many times he has seen me this season!

For anyone that does not live in Glasgow here is the weather report for the last few days – after blazing hot sunshine for a couple of weeks where the shops almost ran out of Tennents Lager we have had thunder and lightening with heavy showers for a few days. This I thought would have no effect on the dreadful low conditions of the Kelvin however a quick gander at the Sepa site told me otherwise.

So it had some effect then?

So it had some effect then?

I had been half planning to fish in the evening once my better half got home from work however what I actually found was not what I was expecting.

Looking Downstream

Looking Upstream

I would have thought that if the river had been in any kind of spate and dropped then a lot of the sediment would already have dissipated however it was obviously not the case.

In this height you would expect to see trout here!

In this height you would expect to see trout here!

The river was actually a lovely height for trout however the color was just plain wrong. You would still pick up trout however I think the going would be tough. Saying that you do not know unless you try it however I decided to give it just one more day. If anything the extra water will have put some oxygen into the water which will be good for the trout.

As I walked down the river I noticed some hefty trees have been taken away at the bandstand.

Some hard work

Some hard work

Of course as they had used some hefty machinery the fence was totally destroyed. I was just thinking about the access when…

Gadzooks!

Gadzooks!

As we walked back up the path I made a mental note to maybe contact the council about the fence as if I had not been on my guard the youngest could have been wallowing around in the muddy water – or worse if it had been a full on spate their could be a serious accident.

I getting to be such an old fart!

I know that the Kelvingrove area is popular with tourists however today I must have heard a dozen different accents and languages all of them snapping away happily away with their cameras. You know, as I wandered around it really is a lovely spot for the tourists. I wondered about any of the blokes walking around whether they were looking at the kelvin and wondering if it held any fish or whether they had asked some of the locals and was told it was a smelly sewer and wrote it off.

We stopped off at various points to see if we could spot any salmon in this for want of a better word “spate” however in the few minutes I was their I did not spot any diving over the weir.

Lovely height though!

Lovely height though!

There is actually a possibility that this is water straight from the roads, water that has essentially just washed through the storm drains due to localised floods like what happened recently when a water main burst up at the Vet School. I would be interested in hearing from anyone that has monitored the river over the last few days whether it has been any higher than it is just now.

Just remembered that my wife is on nightshift on Saturday night so I am out of action another 48 hours!

 

How to fix a felt sole which has fallen off!

I think I am just unlucky when it comes to wading boots as I appear to be continually fixing felt soles. Last year I spent the first part of the season using glue to stick bits of carpet on to my boots and in years gone by have come home to find felt soles missing from my boots. I have become a bit of an expert in it or at least in making a half arsed attempt at fixing them that works. To be fair last year I only had problems because I could not get a hold of the wonder gunk that is evo-stik!

In case you have this problem I present you with a rough guide on what to do if you have a terminal felt sole problem. Also, you do not need to throw out that old pair of boots when you can stick a new sole on those bad boys to create a pair of back up boots.

What you need:

This is the stuff that works!

This is the stuff that works!

Method

  1. Dry boots for at least 24 hours, the boots and felt sole should be as dry as you can get them.

Totally dry!

Totally dry!

2.If part of the felt sole is still hanging on in there it is up to you whether you take the whole thing off however I usually just stick down the part that is hanging off without any difficulty. Go ahead a pull the whole thing off if you want, I just worry that I might tear the felt or something. Of course if you are applying carpet or a new sole then you will need to take it off.

3. Pour the gunk over the sole of the boot and spread around with a screwdriver so that every mm is covered. Do not pour it on to the felt sole, their is no need to put it on two surfaces.

Open the tin - it is quite runny!

Open the tin – it is quite runny!

When you pour it on you will need to move it around with a knife

When you pour it on you will need to move it around with a knife

Try and get it as close to the edge as you can, personally I do not stress about drips...

Try and get it as close to the edge as you can, personally I do not stress about drips…

4. Wait 5 mins for it to dry and becomes tacky, it can be quite runny so sit it up somewhere.

I sit it up somewhere for it to get tacky

I sit it up somewhere for it to get tacky

5. After 5 mins it will be tacky to the touch, push down on the felt and it will stick just fine. Sometimes I stick a chair leg into the boot for a half hour to give it a bit of pressure. You can even put the boot on and push down for a few mins to make sure it has all stuck.

6. Wait 24 hours for it to dry, you can probably get away with 12 and then its totally fixed.

It is now stuck together!

It is now stuck together!

Do not bother with any other kind of adhesive as Impact Evostik is the only one that works, I have binned boots that have fallen apart which still had the felt soles attached to a crumbling sole which has been attached with evostick however have watched soles float away with some other stuff.

If you have any other working patches mail me them.

 

A view from a bridge….

in Kelvingrove Park looking upstream. The river is on its bones

in Kelvingrove Park looking downstream. The river is on its bones

You can see the Giant Hogweed on the left hand bank. It is some size this year...

You can see the Giant Hogweed on the left hand bank. It is some size this year…

Looking upstream, as I stood here I noticed some small trout leaping out the water. I was surprised to see a  reasonable flow through this section.

Looking upstream, as I stood here I noticed some small trout leaping out the water. I was surprised to see a reasonable flow through this section.

 

 

Heat!

We have now entered the longest spell of hot weather since 2006 and by heck the rivers (and fishing) show it. This weather is only good for one thing.

Hot weather - only good for one thing!

Hot weather – only good for one thing!

The level of the Kelvin has dropped significantly and even in the last week  the Allander dropped even further to a proper trickle. The Salmon boys are moaning about the lack of Salmon and the trout boys can hardly get a cast at ultra spooky trout that are sitting in almost stagnant water. So now everyone is pissed off and grumpy. Expect some rumors over the next week or so as nobody has anything better to do. To fill some time there is a Work Party this Sunday if you are up for it.

The Allander is now a trickle!

The Allander is now a trickle!

A burst water main up at the Vet School pumped water from a CSO into the river and even though it was not hazardous it did cause it to look a bit unpleasant and unfishable for several kilometres downstream.

Any joy pal?

Consequently I cancelled a trip to the Clyde last weekend and headed to the sea side which in this neck of the woods is the mecca of Sea Fishing the Mull of Galloway. Got to point out here that this was a family camping trip and not a hard core fishing trip so a campsite next to the sea was booked and then I started thinking about fishing. There was one slight problem in that all my spinning rods are in storage. I decided to treat myself as quite frankly it feels like every pay day my wife comes home with something new she has bought the kids or herself so I looked through the Glasgow Angling Centre website for a beachcaster.

Now I have got absolutely no idea about Sea fishing other than a crash course a couple of years ago when I caught a Pollock on the fly and some dogfish on sand eels. I found an Sea Fishing outfit for 70 bucks (the rod looked like a AFTMA 250) which included rod, reel, line, weights , riggs and a feck of huge tripod thing that barely fitted in my car. I also bought some sand eels which thawed in the heat within 5 mins – I really need to get one of those funkyCampingaz  Electric Cool Box’s for the car.

To cut a long story short I cut nowt and was not that bothered as I had new fishing gear and casting a beachcaster was one heck of a lot of fun.

Jim unable to find the river...

Jim unable to find the river…

Oh sure, there is still trout sport to be had however you have got to be out at 1am and normal folk with jobs and families just cannot do it. I have still been out with Jim until dusk and the action has been sporadic at best. We have spotted trout rising, some good ones too however when you get within casting distance they are spooked away and it is game over. We have ventured pretty far in pursuit of action and it has been slow at best (although Jim was on a role the other night)

That was his second!

That was his second!

Of course what I want to do is get Sea Fishing with my new beachcaster however family life over the next few weeks is going to be hectic so have no idea when I would be able to fit it in. I do have one crazy idea for big fish action however we will see how that pans out over the next week or so….

 

Too hot for trout!

Using the big one!

image

9 hours..

It has been some time since I last fished for a full 9 hours. Over the last couple of years my fishing time has been snatched evenings or a couple of hours after work. Its because of the kids, I want to spend time with them before they grow up.

For this reason I have hardly fished other rivers as it takes a bit of time to get there (although Saturday it only took 45mins to get back so that is being double examined right now) however on Saturday I was granted a full day pass so left at 12ish and planned to stay until dusk. It turned out my pass was assumed to cease at 7pm as I was expected to get some shopping in however there was not much that could be done about it as there was no way I was heading up the road early before dusk.

Le River ...

Le River …

I headed down with Jim with Paul meeting up later after he had completed his chores around the house and the session could firmly be split into two. The first half was hot and bright with three extremely hard fished for trout to show for it and the 2nd heading into dusk much better. I had contemplated using my 5 weight SLT however was glad I settled for my Orvis Superfine 4 weight. It had enough punch to get through the wind. I fished down this river with an extremely soft 4 weight bamboo rod for a couple of seasons so the Orvis should not have an issue.

Warm and bright with some amazing undergrowth...

Warm and bright with some amazing undergrowth…

Wee typical trout ...

Wee typical trout …

The undergrowth has gotten pretty deep and wild, it is as if the late spring has really encouraged the plants to go for it big style. We cleared a wee space to sit and watch for rising trout as we had some sandwiches. After sandwiches at half four that is when the 2nd session started, the wind picked up, the temp dropped and the trout started to rise. We spotted a huge fish that had us doubting whether it may have been an otter however reckon it was a trout as it was at this time we started to spot trout rising every few minutes.

During this time I missed, pricked and landed several fish and it was hard going at times as the trout would look as if they were taking your fly and then when you struck they were gone. Later when I checked this out with Jim he stated the same thing was happening to him.

We started seeing more Blue Winged Olives…

It took us a bit of time however we eventually found its hindwings...

It took us a bit of time however we eventually found its hindwings…

Jim found a wet dragonfly so let it rest on his hand for a bit to allow it to dry off.

Jim found a wet dragonfly so let it rest on his hand for a bit to allow it to dry off.

By 8pm there were several trout rising and we were all catching rising trout, the trout were happy to take my fairly CDC n’ Elk with yellow CDC. I looked up and could not believe the amount of Blue Winged Olives above my head. They were swarming over our heads and as far as we could see up the river.

Can you see the Blue Winged Olives?

Can you see the Blue Winged Olives?

As we waded upstream there was the most horrible stench in the air, it was a dead cow. It must have been decomposing for a while. Even though it looked alright the smell drifted on the wind for a hundred yards.

I kept imagining it was going to stand up and chase me with its undead mooing!

I kept imagining it was going to stand up and chase me with its undead zombie mooing!

Still the trout did not mind and I steadily picked off each trout as Jim pointed them out to me…

Trout in net...

Trout in net…

Jim has a canny eye for rising trout and often points out dimples a hundred yards upstream.

I found a nightmare tree that I am glad I did not stumble into on my way up the river..

The Nightmare Tree

Out of interest anyone know what the white stuff is?

As dusk approached the action heated up however Paul and Jim wanted to head back down the river while there was still a glimmer of light to see by. By this point the trout had switched to spinners so I decided to walk back down after them as it is safer in numbers scrambling over rocks and electrified fences. Jim was zapped in his hand while later I was on my hands and knees and was zapped right up the spine.

Pocket water...

Pocket water…

It was great fishing up here again, the last time I was here the bullocks attacked and I had to yank a fly out my buddies face  so actually going fishing and catching some fish was pretty sweet.

I suppose scrambling back to the car on this stretch may have been tricky however I know another spot not too far from here that would be good in the evenings and the wading is even easier….

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