Harvesting The Bush!

It was after I had been away for a weekend some time ago with the boys for some intensive fishing (as opposed to catching) that the madness struck – I make no excuses for it – when you go away for a long weekend fishing all you do is think trout, talk about trout and talk about the best ways of catching the blighters.

Of course seeing as how over the weekend we had not actually caught loads of trout our madness was particularly keen to come up with something that would not fail to catch a big trout – or a small one – anything that might actually install some kind of confidence other than a stick of dynamite and a net.

One of the best ways of catching big trout allegedly is by using big flies – big flies being streamers – and one of the best streamers is a Wooly Bugger.

A Wooly Bugger

As you can see from the picture a Wooly Bugger is tied up using a long shank hook, a black “wooly” body and a palmered hackle with a tail often made out of marabou fibres.

A Wooly Bugger is a great river fly – you can tie them small enough so that you do not need to radically change your set up – you can get away with casting a small one on a 5 weight set up which is by far the most common river outfit.

Trout on an Olive Bugger

A Trout that fell to a wooly bugger!

In 2008 I caught my first trout of the year on an olive wooly bugger in the snow in a moment of desperation. I am not saying I am an expert in this or anything – I have tried em’ a few times and caught trout however I do know they have a big trout reputation.

As anglers we are always on the lookout for the next great fly tying material and often things said in jest stay with you for a while and then grow arms and legs (metaphorically).

Anyway, on the way home from the trip someone pointed out that his father had hinted that a fly tied from the hair of a black women’s nether regions would have amazing fish attracting properties – it had to be a black women seemingly due to it being easier to dub. It is all to do with the obsession that chaps have with gals catching more and bigger fish – we like to think there is something magical like pheromones being at work as opposed to them maybe taking a bit more time with presentations or being better casters – however I do not want to be a heretic so I shall move on with this sorry tale.

But where to get this magical fur?

Now that we knew we wanted some of this legendary material I pondered on it for a while – months to be exact and eventually came up with a solution.

I telephoned one of my pals – let’s call her Louise as – well that is her name for a start – however the interesting thing about her is that she has a pal who is used to Louise being a bit – well – forward is the word to use. She is one of those women who would do anything for a friend no matter what the problem – a great friend to have!

Her pal just happens to be the only person I know who would have a crop of the black stuff. Louise meanwhile is the only person I know who would be willing to approach someone and ask for a cutting.

I explained the need to Louise – she stated her pal might not give in willingly however her own husband (who also has an afro) has an ample amount she was willing to shave – she could give me a “bucket load of the stuff” – it has got to be a women’s – I explained– it is all to do with the scent and the pheromones you women give off – it drives us men and fish crazy with hunger and then desire – I pondered when the last time Louise had ever been out for a date that involved a meal – I went into some details about how women’s pheromones have always been a proven fish catcher. I recounted the story of Miss Ballantine landing her big Salmon, said to be 54in long, which was caught on the Glendelvine beat of the River Tay and still stands as a record breaker.

It was then that my pal gave me some fantastic news – “she is a bit moody just now – she is almost ready to pop” It took a moment for this news to sink in – and then it struck me what she was talking about – she was about to have a baby – this is fantastic I thought – she will have all those hormones pumping around her body all ending up in one fantastic bushy enormous trout attracting vagina.

“She can hardly wash – she is about a week overdue” my pal said!

Get your ass on that phone now – I said – before she has a bath at the hospital – I thought.

Of course – it took a bit of explaining – I mean she thought I was a pervert at first – well, for a few days anyway – so while Louise was trying to persuade her that this was a legitimate transaction I took the time to contact the only angler I thought would appreciate the efforts I was making – also my Wooly Buggers are pretty poor and I knew he had been tying a few up – I really should not tell you who it was however what the hell – it was Mike over at Tamanawis – he was willing to handle the booty bounty and tie up what I can only think of now as nuclear powered trout attracting buggers.

Mike - willing to handle the bush!

Oh – the day dreams I had – I could just see myself hauling them in and people asking me what I was catching the beasts on – I could see a great business opportunity – I mean how much could I sell these buggers for – how often could I harvest the crop? How soon could I get this magical fluff in my hands – I really should have given Louise a bag to put the contraband in however she is a resourceful girl – probably end up using one of those wee containers women have around the kitchen.

Obviously after the pregnancy the initial potency would be reduced (and those beauties I would be keeping close to me) however they would be a bonus – like the cream of the crop. I would probably use them in those areas that other people had seen monster trout – one cast in front of them and one whiff of the bushy bugger and that trout would be in the net having its picture taken in no time. Additionally she is a young girl – no doubt this would be the first of a few kids – I would have a plentiful supply and the old paypal account would be healthy after selling a batch on Ebay.

(I tried to find a photo to post here however thought it might be a bit offensive)

Other thoughts went through my head – how would the fish react in the famous “Sanitary Towel” pool on the Kelvin – the trout thrive in that pool – would the trout love the “Bushy Bugger”?

All these questions shall remain unanswered my friends – I got the phone call a few days later  – “She told you to bugger off”

Does anyone see the irony in that?

Tenuous Fishing Photos 5/52

Seemingly there are 5 weeks in January.

For Christmas a netbook arrived  in the house:



This fantastic wee mini laptop keeps me posting on this blog and writing in the forum – I look at writing on here as an extension of my fishing – I also get to look back in my diary at warmer times.

I should add that this little gadget is essential as I now cannot spend any time in my study due to my wee boy running around the place!

You can see more tenuous fishing photos here

Tenuous Fishing Photos 4/52

It is me – walking past some tree stumps:

Ok – obviously this is an old photo right – however I can remember that walk (I almost fell down a cliff) and can remember what I was thinking as I walked past those tree stumps – can you guess?

You can see more tenuous fishing photos here

So you want to blog about fly fishing?

Blogging about fly fishing is great fun – it is a way to meet new friends, expand your knowledge about your sport and also keep track of your fishing exploits in a diary – also if you are a self publicising ego maniac it can give you an outlet to spew your views and cause arguments.

When I started this diary way back in 2003 there was no other truly dedicated blogs dedicated to fly fishing – I started it as an add on to my static River Kelvin site – if I remember correctly the river was a wash out for a couple of weeks and I was bored.  I read everything I could about blogs and then went looking to try and connect with other fly fishing bloggers – there were none – well in fact there was two sites that I liked – Ahoyhoy (an outdoor blog which has now sadly disappeared) and Midcurrent (a news site) and I read them both avidly.

So I  started this blog as “Urban Fly Fishing on the Kelvin” which then changed to “Urban Fly Fisher” – there are still people that call this site Urban Fly Fishing on the Kelvin which is kinda funky. In the years that followed  I made lots of new friends and was also contacted by many other fly fishing bloggers to say I was their inspiration – which is kinda nice as I look now at their far superior blogs in awe.

I am pleased to say that Urban Fly Fisher is not only number one for guys that fish the Kelvin but also a lot of fun for others to read as well.

Starting a blog is easy – it is keeping it going and actually attracting readers that is the hard bit – seeing as how I am a computer geek/have not been fishing I want you to share my enjoyment of blogging so I thought I would give you some hints on how to get started:

The Plan

1. Starting a blog need not cost you money – you can sign up with WordPress or Blogger for free. Eventually you may want to move into buying your own domain name and buying dedicated hosting however you can give it a try out first to see if you enjoy it – the web is littered with blogs that people have abandoned.

2. Do some research– try not to align yourself closely to someone else’s brand or niche – not only is this a bit cheeky and a major faux pas in the world of blogging it also shows a lack of imagination. Likewise try and develop your own style of writing – do not try and copy someone else’s that you like, the chances are you will not be able to sustain it for long anyway.

3. Try and write quality content as often as possible – firstly write for yourself and do not be despondent that no one seems to be reading your content – readers come with time – a lot of time – I started off with a few dozen readers a day and the numbers steadily grew.

4. Comment and network with other fishing blogs – try not to email people asking them to link to you – instead write a post about their site or simply link to them – all blogging software is able to pick up incoming links – if they do not link to you then make sure you leave quality comments on their site – start a conversation and they will come to respect you and link back to you.

So there you have it – a few hints on starting a blog dedicated to fishing – I have enjoyed immensely my time blogging about fishing and fully intend to carry on until you are thoroughly sick of me. I have met some great people and made some good friends – also writing this blog has improved my own fishing no end – the fear of blanking and telling you guys hones the technique somewhat.

If you do start a blog feel free to fire me an email with the URL – looking forward to reading about your exploits.

In the meantime – check out these great blogs for a bit of inspiration.

Tenuous Fishing Photos 3/52

I have absolutely no idea where this photo was taken:

No Idea

I mean – I am sure that there is water near where I took this photo – I think I might have been taking photos of pipes coming out that wall however for the life of me I cannot remember.

You can see how much litter and rubbish that has accumulated over the years – I think this photo was taken early season – probably around April by the looks of the foliage.

You can see more tenuous fishing photos here

Kelvinography on the Moon

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Kelvin is the island in the upper left. Rupes Kelvin is the diagonal scarp below it, and (parallel to that) the rille in the lower right is part of Rimae Hippalus.


This post is part of a series about “things” that are named after the Kelvin

Check out the Kelvinography Page

A blog without links…

Every now and again I come across a really good fly fishing blog – great content, good photos  and started fairly recently. By recently I mean maybe in the last 6 months – usually the blog is on blogger as that is where most people start out before moving on to a platform that you can have a bit more control over like wordpress.

Obviously they know what a blog is and what they want to get out of it however there is often a fundamental flaw in their whole strategy – they have absolutely no links to any other blog – or if they do have links it is to blogs or sites that also have limited links. Sure – some sites and blogs can get away with that as they are just so awesome however the chances of a new blog pulling in punters without any links are pretty slim.

You see links on blogs are like veins that bring you readers – just like blog comments – if you leave a good comment on someone else’s blog they are bound to come back and read yours and then link to it – it is a courtesy thing.

If noone is linking to you then it also makes it difficult for google to find you!

Anyone know any good fishing blogs with no links?

Kelvinography Island

Paul Young has once again been in touch with yet another example of Kelvinography.

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Kelvin Island is in Lake Nipigon…(bidie-in now bidie-out?!!) in Ontario in Canada.

49’54 north and 88’38 west.

And also another which I cannot find a picture of:

Kelvin Arizona is 30’07 north and 110.59 west…about 70 miles east south east of Phoenix on the Gila River after it flows out of the Coolidge Dam.

Oh what the heck – here is a picture of the map – it is just next to Tam o Shanter Peak –  !

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Cheers Paul – now get me a picture of a pub in Glasgow named after the Kelvin – extra points if you are in it 🙂

Kelvinography – Fishing Boat Engines

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Motor powered fishing boats appeared at the beginning of the 20th century. The first Scottish motor powered fishing boat was ‘Crystal River’ of Wick, with Eyemouth’s ‘Maggie Jane’s’ the second. Early fishing boat engines cost from £70 to £100. By 1919, 23% of the Scottish fishing fleet was motor powered.

This advertisement within the ‘Fish Trades Gazette’ shows a Kelvin engine. It said that 470 British fishing boats were powered by Kelvin engines, and that they were powered from 6 to 60 horse power. These engines could be fuelled by either petrol or paraffin.

In 1914, 60 horse power was quite a powerful engine. Kelvin engines were one of the most successful fishing boat engines of the early 20C. Kelvin engines were made by the Bergius Launch & Engine Company in Glasgow. Walter Bergius started the company in 1906 after installing a motor car engine into a rowing boat.

River Kelvin Angling Association AGM 2010

It is that time of year again – it is like a scene from Mad Max with people checking in their weapons before entering the Thunderdome – That’s right it is the River Kelvin Angling Association AGM 2010.

It will be held on the 11th February at 7pm at Kessington Hall, 58 Milngavie Road Bearsden. Post Code, G61 2DP.

Kessington Hall is the large red sandstone building located on the right hand side of Milngavie Road (A81) about 300 metres to the North of Canniesburn toll when driving towards Milngavie. At the first set of traffic lights (opposite the petrol station) turn right into Kessington Road where there is parking. Bus services stop at Kessington Road next the Hall. Hillfoot Train Station is about 300 metres North of the Hall on Milngavie Road.

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