Highland Blanks

Headed past the fault line being chased by the weather. First option was washed out and in a field so continued on.

Finally settled with the beach casters – we tried to buy some extra bait in a supermarket but never found any!

Wind in the valley!

Wind in the valley!

We thought about tubing a loch on the way back however a black cloud was following us everywhere we went.

A Cold Day

A Cold Day

Still, the cobwebs were definitely blown and I was home in plenty of time to earn some points!

Kelvin account…

When I took some bags out to the wheelie bin this morning it was warm, at least the sun was shining and I did not skuttle back in to the house. Instead I stood and felt the sun on my face and wanted to catch a trout. It has been a long busy winter (hence the lack of posts) so I headed back into the house and got my shit out my fishing cupboard and stuck it into the car. The kids and wife piled into the car and we headed to Paisley where I sacrificed damn near £50 a month to the Gods of the “new sofas” at DFS. We then headed to Kelvingrove Art Gallery where the kids and wife were ejected and I donned my trout hunting gear.

I was keen to get stuck in as over at the River Kelvin Fishers facebook page a few guys have been posting their exploits so I knew some rising trout might show themselves.

Glasgow University

Looking downstream

As I strung up my rod and line I could swear that it was snowing and I wondered if some blossom or something was being blown on the water. It was when I looked up at the angry clouds I realised that it was hailstones that were drifting down, bag fat light ones though so no need to get under cover. I worked my way up the pool and spotted my first two risers of the year, their was a steady stream of Olives coming off the water however they were just out of reach. I got into the water and started to wade however it was not to be as I shat it when trying to get past some very slippy green tinged rocks. My fishing feet are definitely not with me yet!

The river was dirty enough that I could not see the bottom and up enough to make crossing at this particular spot difficult. I scrabbled across the wrong bank, the right one being the one I can cast from without there being any issues and the moved up disturbing some usually productive water. When I got to where the trout had been rising a few roll casts put the fly on the spot but the trout was spooked long ago by my wading.The positive was that thankfully it was too cold and not enough bushes for their to be anyone having a nature wank so I was safe.

I then came across some more rising trout – 6 to be exact.



I would love to say that I caught them but I spent a good hour covering them with little joy – there are three distinct currents and even when I managed to get a good drift at the last moment drag would take effect and the fly would move unnaturally. A couple of times there would be a boil under my fly which is a classic refusal at the last minute of a trout that realises something is just a bit off with the fly. This happened with all the trout bar one that moved a few inches from its station and let me hook it only for it to be gone after a few pulls. I looked up and their was around a dozen folk possibly tourists looking down at me from the bridge. I do not remember this many folk being interested and it put me off for a bit however I plugged on and then next time I glanced up they were gone. A couple of the better trout were supping flies from some dead water and they drove me nuts but it was all good action anyway.


My boys joined me and I showed them how to cast – I let them try a roll cast from a wee island.



I did not mind heading back to the car as all the trout had stopped rising by this point – the hatch of olives were long gone!

The temperature bumped 12 degrees a couple of times today however I reckon during the hatch it was 10 degrees with the wind chill slightly lower.

If you guys have not done so already please join us over at the River Kelvin Fishers page for a bit of banter.

So my Kelvin account is still pending however a week at this time of year can make a huge difference weather wise so lets see what happens next week!

What time is it ?


Fishing Time !

Happy Something or other!

No Comments.

No Comment

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Weirdly, the last trout I caught…

Weirdly, the last trout I caught was not caught in a river.

It was caught in the salt in Helensburgh…

Trout from the salt!

On the barbarian rod as well!


I froze myself to -273.1 degrees Celcius…..

My friends were worried, but I’ll be 0k.




Fly Fishing the River Irwell and other Streams

Found a fantastic blog – Fly Fishing the River Irwell and other Streams

Some of the pictures remind me a lot of the Kelvin.

With the fantastic line of “Three fish rising here caught none of them.”

That is the kind of report that I think we can all relate to!


Well, that was the season that was!

Where did it end eh?

I know for some of you guys it was awesome!

I know for some of you guys it was shite!

For me it must have been the most varied, shortest and most frantic in the history of this old creaky blog. Instead of being highs and lows it was almost as if my time was so precious that it had to be a season of highs no matter what!

The year started after I almost killed Paul Young on the banks of the Kelvin as my year usually does, not the killing part but the Kelvin part. I slipped down the stairs nearly taking him out and smashing a bottle of the good stuff. Here we all are thankfully safe..

Paul Young is between my youngest and I !

I had one brief stab at the Kelvin and then my third child arrived.

I had to make every trip count and I did – I had lots of wee trips to the Salt with the LRF and some trips for trout catch some lovely big ones..

Kinda wished I had brought my tape measure..

Kinda wished I had brought my tape measure..

I am hoping to squeeze a Pike trip in somehow between the madness of children’s parties and feeding!

How are you faring ?



Outraged in Kirkintilloch

Someone who I will call Mr. Outraged made a complaint on the official Kelvin Facebook page the other day and I thought I would share it with you as quite frankly it made me splutter over my coffee that someone had the audacity to not share my views on the internet roll my eyes that time is spent on stuff like this.

Mr. Outraged said:

I took a walk down to the river kelvin at the Kirkintilloch side of the kelvin. I was thinking of renewing my membership again.but Deside not to after I have seen the state of the river banks.which has no access to 97 percent of the river.what is the association doing about this. As for the rubbish in the river. I can only think that the persons responsible is not doing their job atoll. as the Kirkintilloch side of the river is very much a disgraced  to the members of this area [sic]

Paul always responds nicely to folk with his usual well-reasoned and thought out replies as he thinks everyone is like him ie. normal.  However as usual Outraged got my goat right up for a couple or four reasons:

  1. Someone is complaining about a wild river with bushes for goodness sake, access is pretty shit  but is perfectly doable with a bit of effort.
  2. The association does do stuff about this, however nobody ever turns up at work parties. I am guilty of this as well however I have three kids and a wife to contend with.
  3. Who is responsible for rubbish in the river? The person that put it there of course! The insinuation is that it is me or the other guys that freely give up their time.
  4. I know lots of people that fish that stretch and love it.

Paul was doing better...

Not that bad! You can fish it if you get in it!

Anyway, I replied like a smart arse:

Bushes ! That’s what you get in the country !

And then followed up with

If you live around Kirkintilloch maybe you can tell your neighbours not to dump rubbish in the river as I can only assume they are the ones responsible. It would take a few people a couple of weeks with a bush cutter to clear a lot of it! If you have a few mates get stuck in as that is what everyone else does ! If you don’t like proper wild fishing you could always try the vet school or even carbeth which even has a chap that makes you a cup of tea!

This did not go down well…

Hi Alastair.I would like to say that I am out raged with a response like that.and don’t no if you are a part of the committee or not.all I would say I hope you are not.because if you are I pity you’re members.all I was putting across is when I was inquiring about being a member to my local fishing club.but with your comment which I received from you I wouldn’t think of purchasing a season ticket from the river kelvin fishing association.but I can ashore you one thing I will be taking this mater further. and I hope you’re members will get involved to see what they say about this post . [sic]

He spelt my bloody name wrong, all he had to do was copy the damn thing down from my reply. This did not get on my goat but made me smile wryly for a few reasons

  1. He would rather be outraged by my reply than reply to Pauls well thought out and reasoned response.
  2. Is he a member or not? I have no idea!
  3. I do not think he ever intended to pay for a permit, just wanted a moan about some bushes.
  4. Taking it further? The internet police will be buzzing about any second……….now!

Anyway, I said..

Are you a member or not? You originally said that you were not going to renew your permit and now you are saying you would not purchase one in the first place? What else is on the agenda to complain about ? puddles when it rains perhaps ? I am just saying that rivers have a lot of foliage around them and their happens to be a few km’s worth up in Kirki! Last time I checked the river flows downstream to Glasgow so I reckon the rubbish is not from their. Please do take the matter further I am sure the river police will be beating a hasty track to my front door, that is if they can find it behind those pesky bushes….

If you are wondering how this was supposed to go Paul’s initial response was:

We organised volunteer session John. Very few people turned up. There is an ongoing issue with invasive species making access difficult in the upper regions. We are currently working on a strategy to tackle the problem. The next volunteer session will be advertised on this page very soon. Can I count on you to come along and help? Try to remember that the association is run by volunteers who have families and jobs. As much as I would love to work in the river full time, I cannot afford to give up my job.

This is like the only one with me in it! plus it was taken up at Kirki

Mr Outraged could have replied:

Oh, that is good you have a plan in place and good work on the work parties. I have looked back through facebook and found lots of pictures of the good work that you have done, well done you chaps. At the next work party I shall come along and offer my services as I so do care about the state of the river. Even though I am getting on a bit I can still pick up some litter etc or hold the sandwiches. Money well spent that is, incidentally Alistair looks pretty sexy in waders and a baseball cap. Good job there are no ladies at the AGM.

It could have gone something like that anyway.

But it didn’t did it!