Spring Sun – Check!

Decorating chores partly complete – Check!

Water at a good height – Check!

Water at a good height!

A full fly box – Check!

Non leaky waders – Check

Bank covered in empty cider bottles carried their in blue plastic bags – Check!

Wanks - Check!

Regaled with stories of monster hatches of olives – Check!

Meet a guy on a Sunday with a beechcaster – Check!

Cast for an afternoon with a dry and dropper – Check!

Be regaled by a Kingfisher zooming past – Check!

Count 5 shopping trolleys – Check!

Trolleys - Check!

See some Olives (6) and get excited – Check!

Paul Reid shows up and forgets his rod – Check!

Catch fuck all – Check!




Weekly water photo – 14 of 52

Where am I?


Weekly water photo – 13 of 52

Took the boy out for a walk beside the Kelvin – he insisted on carrying a net!


Spring Pike!

Firstly to the gent in the boat who I possibly destroyed his last ten minutes of fishing by attempting to sidle past his bobbing float – a apologise profusely. Why am I doing it here? Because I think the gent may be a reader – after I shouted an apology he called me by my name – it was only later did I realise  that he could not have overheard it. So apologies – put it down to excitement and the fact that you possibly just fished more in one weekend than I will get this season.

We cool?


Good – you are  gentleman and a scholar – and also quite possibly a sex fiend – I mean taking your wife fishing in a tiny wee boat for a couple of nights. Well played sir, well played!

Anyway, moving on swiftly – this trip was a trip of firsts – firstly I actually had my first cast of the year and caught my first fish.

Yay - I caught a big green pike!

And here is the boy in question on the end of my line – all fired up for some red hot sexy pike action.

Sex - NOW!

It was actually bigger in my hand – it was a high single – maybe around 7 or 8lb.

Another first was actually getting Alan Atkins (Chair of the RKAA) into his first proper Pike on the fly..

Look at that bender!

Unfortunately I did not get a picture of him holding the beast as it promptly wiggled out my hands however managed to get a picture of it diving in the water.


He then went on to catch another smaller one and miss a bigger one later.

Meanwhile buddy Alex was hauling them in on the other side of the pond…


Sweet action all round.

I also got a chance to wear a new pair of glasses sent by Kontrol Sports – they sent me them a while ago however seeing as how it has hardly been sunny I have not been wearing them much. The model is the Polar Ice Polarised Sports Sunglasses” and they cost a rather sweet £25.

They are pretty sweet – they fit comfortably around your ears due to their spring hinges and fitted rather well under my cap. They have a 1.7mm Polycarbonate lens which is 50x stronger than glass. Seemingly this is the toughest most shatter resistant material commonly used for protective goggles lenses. This is the same material used for aircraft windshields! It is also scratch resistant. This is all good news when you have an enormous fly whizzing past your face at Lord Kelvin knows how many miles an hour – a lot I would imagine. Nothing says a trip to the hospital than a Pike hook embedded anywhere your eye.

If you fancy a pair you can buy em’ from the Kontrol Sports website with free shipping – if you meet me by the river and you fancy a shot of them just ask!

You do not want that orange thing in your eye!

Judging by the weather today lots of folk will be out with their sunglasses on over the next day or two – if this keeps up the trout might actually show an interest in a dry fly soon.


Fish Kelvin Forum Gubbed + Virus Warning

(This is actually a post on the forum however I thought I would copy it as a post just in case)


This is not going well – Ok – Paul K got in contact a while ago to say his Norton was playing up – saying that he got a warning when he tried to access the site. I pretty much poo pood it – I mean it was Paul right? Laugh Anyway, lots of other folk have now been in touch to say the same thing – well, when i say lots I mean around 4. I have scanned the whole site using the built in site scanner thingy that cpanel provides, I then contacted my host who scanned the whole server and found nothing. It seemed to be mostly when folk were trying to log into the forum so I have deleted the forums and reinstalled.

Um – in the process of this it seems that the forum over at FishKelvin is now gubbed – sorry about that, I will try and fix it soon as possible.

If anyone else has problems either leave a comment or make  post in the forum.



edit: just downloaded the whole site, it was scanned with Security Essentials and Malware Bytes and nothing showed up. I have also disabled the Mobile View plugin as that has been known to cause virus warnings on other sites.

Weekly water photo – 12 of 52

A picture of the forth and clyde canal just before clydebank – this whole stretch seems pretty grim. I wonder if there are any pike kicking around!


Camo Beret – Cool as fu….

You wear a camouflage beret while you are fishing then you are as cool as Top Cat in my book.

(pic is an affiliate link to Amazon)

I am going to add one of these bad boys to my Amazon wishlist for my birthday next month.

Tell you what else is happening in a couple of months – my second born child will be hitting the planet – this means instead of fishing for the next wee while I am doing DIY (for me this means decorating) you see my wife is “nesting” – not the old style cleaning every room in the house thing it is the new wave nesting thing where she gets me to paint every room in the house – thanks a bunch Parenting Weekly.

And this weekend it was my sons bedroom.

When number one son was born we decided to put a border around the room – we used “border glue” – if I had been told that once the border glue was on the wall the only way to remove it is to actually get a new wall then I would not have bothered with a border. If you do not get the glue off then it bleeds through the new paint.

Instead I have just spent the last two days using fairy liquid, fabric softener, sugar water, tin foil heated up by an iron, white spirit and finally my spit to try and get this evil stuff off my sons room. None of it helped – finally I bought some stuff that is supposed to cover up hard to remove stains and coated the glue. You can still see where the border was kinda through around 8 coats of royal blue paint however I have agreed with my wife that even if we do still notice it we have NEVER to mention it ever again.

Camo Beret = cool as f#ck!

Border Glue = a pain in the arse!

Weekly water photo – 11 of 52

Ok – so the race is on to actually see a rising trout. Last year the first trout I seen rising was this wee burn running through Dalmuir.

Congratulations – you made it!

Yay – you made it to another season – today is the first day of the 2011 trout season.

Congratulations on making it this far – we all deserve a great big round of applause for fighting through yet another thoroughly miserable winter.

From this moment on instead of being totally unable to legally fish for trout we can now choose not to fish for them as the conditions are totally against us. We can now look out the window and shake our heads in woe at the dismal temperatures which is going to be keeping the trout comatose at the bottom of the river. Consequently the possibility of catching a trout on the dry fly is incredibly slim – by slim I mean none. There was a time I would have taken the day off work just to head down to the river to have a symbolic cast however I have been stung that way before – and by stung I mean froze my booty in freezing cold miserable water. You see the hope at this time of year is that you would see the mythical Large Dark Olive hatch – they are the main insects you should see flirting around the water with the trout greedily gulping them down. The hatch usually starts in February and peak in March and April – however, personally at the start of the season I rarely see them and when I do they sail down the river are totally unmolested by the trout – of course I might actually be in a place totally devoid of trout which is why this year I will be totally sacking my usual early season haunt and tackling some fresh water upstream. Technically the hatch should be either side of the hottest part of the day – people say noon however to me that never makes sense – going by my temps the hottest part of the day is usually mid afternoon or a little earlier, say 1pm – 2pm.

Still, its not all that bad – give it another couple of weeks and hopefully the temperatures will be up a bit – It is a funny time of year when a week really does make a difference. I always think Autumn slips into Winter a heck of a lot quicker than Winter slips into Spring. The real date that we should all take notice is the 1st April – we should have a bit more sunlight and hopefully some steady temps above 10 degrees. Today we will have an astounding 11hours 46minutes and 14 seconds of daylight whereas on the 1st April we will have a whopping 13 hours 5 minutes and 21 seconds of daylight.


Weekly water photo – 10 of 52

Passed over my shit pipe river today and it looked great – because all the trees have no leaves I can see lots of riffles and runs!
Only a week until I can choose not to fish for trout – I will probably fish for pike first.



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