Urban Fly Fisher – Banned from the River Clyde Forum!

As many of you know I visit a few forums on the net and occasionally make comment on interesting stuff that takes my fancy. One of the newest forums that I did not include in my list of UK based roundup was the River Clyde Forum as back then it did not exist.

River Clyde Forum - Urban Fly Fisher Free Area !!!

I was full of hope about the River Clyde Forum – it started with a bit of a fanfare and it seemed to be pretty slick – its aim it appeared was to draw all the Clyde and tributary fishers together to chat with a common purpose – everyone’s opinion counts n, all that – its tag line is “By the Angler…for the Angler”. Every angler except someone that believes trout should be caught soley with a fly it seems as I was banned for claiming just that. I should actually feel kinda honored that my humble opinion is so scary and offensive to some that I get banned from speaking and discussing fishing technique (this is totally different from the troll problem the Kelvin suffered a while ago by the way).

Let me explain…

I like Bob Wyatt – he is a good author and is extremely poetic in his writing – on fishing for stocked trout he writes:

 The difference in required skill between catching a big, farmed trout and a small one is completely artificial and meaningless. If you applied the put and take model to some other domestic animal the point becomes pretty clear. Its rather like the difference between going out for a romantic evening with a women whom you find interesting and attractive, and hiring a hooker.(page 22)

I like that analogy and I must confess I  kinda stole it – I noticed a thread on the River Clyde Forum which talked about the “art of spinning” and how it is a dying art. Now the main focus of the thread was about spinning for trout (not Salmon, Pike etc just the humble trout) – let me ask you this, have you ever read a magazine article or read a book that gave a detailed explanation of how to spin to trout – if not I can do it in one sentence:

 You cast the damn thing out and a trout will try and eat it – with a bit of luck the treble will not go through the trout’s brain.


 Anyway – being the ever blunt one I stated (on the forum thread)

 Any trout not caught on a fly is an abomination ..

 …or words to that effect. A couple of folk chimed in – one in particular (who happens to be a pal) stated that spinning is good for kids etc and then around this point the shit pretty much hit the fan. There was a real bit of an uproar so I decided to explain myself a bit more by paraphrasing Mr Wyatt…

 “Casting a fly to a trout is like seducing a beautiful women, casting a mepp is like throwing money at a hoor”

 The next time I tried to log in I found this:


I contacted them however they never got back to me…

So what does this tell me? – well what this tells me is that sometimes I can be a bit of a dick (smile) – it also tells me that folk who have absolutely no way of winning an argument (or are not eloquent enough) to argue a point will just shut you down with no explanation. It also tells me something about the River Clyde Forum that I find a bit distasteful – I am not going to bleat on about censorship or any of that pish as quite frankly moderators on forums can do what ever the heck they want as they pay the cash for their hosting and site – however  to effectively ban the dedicated fly fisher from their site for stating a personal opinion is kinda  weird for a place that is supposed to embrace all kinds of fishing.

I am pretty sure I am gonna be called a fly fishing snob – personally I like John Gierachs view on what the differences are between a purist and a snob fly fisher. He says a snob is a fly fisher who looks down upon all other forms of fishing – fishing with a spinning rod is totally out and in fact to a snob you would be the worst kind of angler. A purist is kinda the same as a snob however they do actually own a spinning rod and use it in certain conditions and for certain types of fishing however they are a bit embarrassed by it on the whole. I do happen to own some of “the spinning rods” – one is a “Shimano Vengeance” and the other is a generic no brand that has the words “Fandango” down the side – I keep it in the car for sheer comedy value.

River Clyde Forum - Fandangos!

Anyway, so that my friends is that!

Comments, observations?



Fantastic Cloud Display Sunday Evening!

We had a wonderful display of Mammatus Cloud on Sunday evening – I was actually sitting on the computer and commented to my wife what a lovely light was coming in through the window – she then proceeded to tell me the clouds were starting to freak her out – I managed to eventually find my camera and take some shitty pictures that hardly do them justice!

Mammatus 1

Damn and blast – what my camera does not show is just how solid the clouds were …

Mammatus Cloud 2


Mammatus Cloud 3

Mammatus Clouds are actually fairly rare and are very ominous looking – they are like something out of a Spielberg movie as they drift across the sky looking all foreboding and broody. They are caused by sinking air and are often seen after a storm has passed although sometimes before.

Anyone else witness the show?

You would be forgiven…

…for thinking that all I appear to do these days is get myself banned from internet forums for making statements about how lovely trout are. However I have actually managed to wet a line – in fact last week twice. Both times were nothing much to write home about and on one occasion I forgot my camera.

The first session was in a tiny burn that was rumored to hold nice trout – my skills were found wanting and I left with a new found sense of  shame at my casting ability..

Damn you trees!

However I was not to be outdone and headed down to the Kelvin for literally half an hour after work one day – the river had risen around 6 inches however had dropped back down leaving the river the color of what I can only describe as shit. Still, the trout did not appear to mind and they rose in the most annoying and had to reach places – I managed to raise one trout eventually and lost another nice one due to a dodgy knot – like I say I forgot my camera so this highly accurate representation will have to do..

As you can see - I was using my Orvis Superfine...

I am hoping you chaps are fairing better than I am at the moment – in fact I know you are as I keep reading about it.

Ahem – Pike Time!

The summer is almost over – everything seems a little old now, the grass is not so green and I disrupted a mushroom picker in the bushes the other day – he was talking to himself which was all a bit awkward – “Are you lost?” I asked him (he was an incredibly fat man who had just thrown half a tree onto a small dirt path I was walking down – it just missed me, he looked gobsmacked to see me gazing up at his impressive bulk) – “No, I am mushroom picking” he said – all very odd.

Anyway, this all puts me in the mood for Pike – the roach are shoaling in the canal which means they should be shoaling in the lochs which means the mummy and daddy pike will want to get fat for winter before having some pike sex again in the spring.

In preparation for this hot Pike action in the Autumn can I recommend you chaps buy this book from Amazon:

Failing that I have heard good things about this one and is more UK focused:


Meanwhile, I am busy watching the dusk getting closer to the time I get home from work.

Weekly Water Photo 34 of 52

I actually visited a fishery this week with some guys from work (all of whom have brain injuries) – I was not fishing just helping out. We ended up visiting Carbeth Trout Fishery  where we hoped some of the guys would actually catch something. Out of 9 guys only one caught something – most were using bait however some gave the fly a go.

We got a warm welcome from Carbeth and I managed to get one of the best rolls n’ sausage I have had in a while.

Here is a picture of the tank they stock the fish from.

Weekly Water picture 34


Weekly water photo 33 of 52


So I was down the park with the boy and spotted a couple of fly anglers having a bash for the salmon – couple of nice lads! I spoke to them for a bit until the boy got bored and then headed up the road – had to stop on a bench next to the big blue pub as the boy fell asleep – in fact that is where I am writing this!

Bin throwing yobs block Milngavie salmon run – Local Headlines – Milngavie Herald


Weekly Water Photo – 32 (There is a pool I know)

There is a pool I know on the Kelvin – a few fishers know it (I know the infamous Jim Burns knows it) where the trout are plump, the water is deep and the casting is bloody difficult due to a steep bank behind you. The wading is also treacherous for someone as non nimble footed as I am!

The pool!

There is a lovely tongue of water that comes down just next to those trees and in that tongue there are usually rising trout to be had – like I say they can be right Picky Bastards!

Jim and I once spent quite some time trying to tempt them – it has not always been like this though as I have fished this pool and taken several trout – good 3/4 pounders.

Next to this pool, nestled in the small cliff where there used to be some bushes that made this pool damn near impossible to fish until they were cut down there is what is commonly known as a “Bong” otherwise known in Glasgow as a “Bucket”


A Bucket - weekly water photo!

The “Bucket” is filled with water (hence the weekly water photo and I assume Kelvin water) and then used to inhale cannabis. Whoever these chaps were inhaling there herb obviously had good taste if they were sitting next to my lovely pool – I wonder if they saw the trout rising?



Canal graffiti!



Weekly Water Photo 31

Weekly Water Photo 31

I was down at Loch Lomond the other day( as you do) having a picnic with the full compliment of wives and children (as you do) when this lovely little Olive decided to hatch and sit on my hand – I got the boy over to seer the beast into his memory so that when he is a bit older he will be able to mimic it perfectly with a bent pin and some fluff from the carpet….good times, good times….