Video Nasty!

Midway through the season I bought myself a wee handheld video cam – this wee thing here:

Kodak PlaySport Zx5 Full HD 1080P, Waterproof, Dustproof and Shockproof – Aqua

I had grand designs of taking some videos throughout the season however this is all I managed!


Fear em’


Otterly Good!

Went fishing on the Kelvin after work for an hour. River at a great height and the color of strong tea without the milk. Caught nothing however lots of trout rising….

Trout rising....

Trout rising….

The undergrowth is now at its wildest and it is strange to think that the end of the season is on its way. I spotted what I thought was a salmon however it turned out to be an otter..

The Kelvin Otter

The Kelvin Otter

It splashed about a bit and then after spotting me headed into the bushes. After a few moments the trout started to rise again.

I kind of regretted not going after the salmon however all my gear is in storage……

Off to Hamburg for a Stag weekend so no fishing, you can see some drunken mayhem on my twitter feed possibly. 

Well, that wee gem was insanely difficult…

After work I gained my early pass and drove to the starting point of a path that led close to the burn. As I was getting my gear together I realised that I had left my forceps and snips back at the house. No matter, I drove back to the house and picked them up; the only thing taking the time was the dodgy right turn onto the main road.

I heard a roaring noise as soon as I got close the burn and knew it was going to be a bit fuller after the rain we had last night. It was, and was totally fishable. At the bottom of the first big waterfall I caught maybe half a dozen, all micro trout with one slightly larger. I never managed to take pictures of the larger trout so you can imagine them instead.

I had no idea this was so close to where I am living...

I had no idea this was so close to where I am living…

Standard micro trout...

Standard micro trout = 2.5lb rainbow…

It was a fairly steep ascent as there is a series of these waterfalls and at the bottom of each I would pick up a few trout. It was when I reached the last one that the problems started. This area has a fascination (a bit like North Lanarkshire) for barbed wire – I swear even some of the trees had the stuff wrapped around. It was not even a simple case of walking up the middle of the burn as every 50 yards an obstruction was across the river coated in barbed wire – even a metal fence had a wad of the stuff for good measure.

Trick casting...

Trick casting…

Added to the barbed wire was the issue with the casting. After the first few pools I was starting to regret not bring a Tenkara rod with me. I had considered it in the morning however it was one of the things I had left out the car after I had cleaned it on holiday.

Better with the Tenkara rod

Better with the Tenkara rod

Lots of micro trout...

Lots of micro trout…

The bigger trout were not that much bigger.

I scrambled back to the car as I decided to head to the Kelvin for a bit, turned out SEPA lied and it was up around a couple of feet…



Lots of Salmon coming off the Kelvin just now, I am still trout focused!



Gem Found!

Google maps examined, gem found on edge of housing estate..

But does it hold trout?

But does it hold trout?

Permission sought and granted to fish before the boys go to bed so that my fishing and exploring time is maximized – rain started within a half hour of this being granted. As I write this I am renegotiating for the pass to be transferred to tomorrow!


It happens too often…

I have a history with my pal Alex around having crazy days involving boats – Saturday was no different, due in part to the weather forecast which was was heavy rain for the whole day. It did not put us off though as we were heading back to Katrine in search of Pike and Trout. We had fished it last season and even though we had not caught any pike we had caught some trout and it was a lot of fun. We kinda thought something was up however as the chap who organises the boats was a bit late. It turns out that he was not going to let us out on the loch because of the weather – sure it was a bit breezy but it was pretty good conditions for fishing. Seemingly the wind had to change later and they were not willing to let us out. We were disappointed however got a weak coffee and a nice roll n’ bacon out of it.

We headed over to Loch Venachar  instead where even though the guy thought we were a bit crazy due to the rain still gave us a boat.

The weather was changeable..

We could see the waves of rain coming across the hills....

We could see the waves of rain coming across the hills….

The rain stopped for a couple of sessions and the sun came out, these were the times we caught fish..

The rain stopped for a couple of sessions and the sun came out, these were the times we caught fish..

It is always tricky fishing somewhere new and even more difficult when the conditions are against you, still we each caught a Pike…

Alex was please with his Pike

Alex was please with his Pike

In these conditions any fish is a good fish.

In these conditions any fish is a good fish.

As we cruised around the loch we gazed at the chaps on the bank, lots of them had tents and bivys. There was a fair few fires on the go as well, in fact one chap decided he could not be bothered carrying his huge umbrella back to his car so he decided to burn it on his fire. Of course he left the debris of the brolly as well as his metal rod rest sticking out the mud but it looked like a long couple of hundred yards back to his car.

We get that a lot on the Kelvin as well, guys that just do not give a monkeys. A lot of these guys had been camped out overnight as well.

At last - a fish!

At last – a fish!

Obligatory hero shot!

Obligatory hero shot!

During one of the lulls in the rain we witnessed a very strong rainbow ..

Rainbow shining high..

Rainbow shining high..

It was in fact a double rainbow, you can see the other one just above the strongest one.

Later, after our session on the loch had finished we headed over to the big loch to see if we could catch any more Pike from the bank. However as we were setting up the wind caught up with us and things got a bit breezy.

A bit breezy!

A bit breezy!

We found evidence of other fishers however: footprints, litter and a shot seagull.

Shot through the chest..

Shot through the chest..

I do not want to cast any aspersions on the characters of the individuals that shoot seagulls and burn umbrellas however I have noticed a distinct amount of headbangery in their lineage. Their are general bylaws about not lighting fires and no wild camping as well as alcohol free zones and it seems to me that only certain folk follow these laws. That is, folk that actually cause problems through drinking alcohol in public as well as wild camping (through not tidying up after themselves) will continue to do so despite the law. Folk that actually consider laws and democracy in society to be meaningful will try and uphold them. However, the Police and Park Rangers would probably not tackle a bunch of guys drinking heavily setting fires  however are happy to tackle a single lassie waiting for the T in the Park bus while she is swigging a single bottle of beer.

Finding the shot seagull was weirdly not long after I had retweeted The Suburban Bushwackers call to arms about air guns being licensed in Scotland. Personally I do not believe the above legislation would actually do much good as the crazy folk who would shoot birds would continue to do so while other folk like myself would decide not to buy an airgun due to the paperwork etc.

Anyway, I think it is time I caught a trout again and there is a tiny stream not to far from me so this week I may hit its ass in anger!







So I happened upon a man masturbating in the park the other evening..

Good evenings fishing interrupted by chap with his jeans and pants at his ankles in the bushes, he coughed and tried to pull them up.

I looked him straight in the eye and said “Awright Mate”

He carried on and I fished the pool in front of him.

It was all a bit awkward!

I posted it to twitter..


So a mixture of admiration, curiosity about what attracts nature masturbation addicts and a weird need to know the location of the masturbatory action was the general theme on twitter for the rest of the evening.

As an aside I overheard two boys discussing wanking while I was travelling on the bus the other day, one asked the other “You ever had a suicide wank?” the other boy asked him what it was. “Well, you go at it as hard as you can and just as your are aboot tae cum you shout as loud as you can fur yer Maw. Its suicide if you huvnae finished by the time she gets tae yur room”

I cannot decide whether to shut the comments or not, what the hell, lets see what you guys have to say!



Dock Crane Porn ##Fixed##


The Urban Fly Fisher – 10 years old today!

Happy Birthday!

You wont find an older fly fishing blog that is for sure!


Thunder n’ lightning, very very frightening!

So I managed a sneaky wee flexi day from work today purely because of a childcare issue so I was presented with the opportunity to check out the Kelvin as it has pretty much been unmolested from me for a week or so.

Lord Kelvin making a note of how many times he has seen me this season!

Lord Kelvin making a note of how many times he has seen me this season!

For anyone that does not live in Glasgow here is the weather report for the last few days – after blazing hot sunshine for a couple of weeks where the shops almost ran out of Tennents Lager we have had thunder and lightening with heavy showers for a few days. This I thought would have no effect on the dreadful low conditions of the Kelvin however a quick gander at the Sepa site told me otherwise.

So it had some effect then?

So it had some effect then?

I had been half planning to fish in the evening once my better half got home from work however what I actually found was not what I was expecting.

Looking Downstream

Looking Upstream

I would have thought that if the river had been in any kind of spate and dropped then a lot of the sediment would already have dissipated however it was obviously not the case.

In this height you would expect to see trout here!

In this height you would expect to see trout here!

The river was actually a lovely height for trout however the color was just plain wrong. You would still pick up trout however I think the going would be tough. Saying that you do not know unless you try it however I decided to give it just one more day. If anything the extra water will have put some oxygen into the water which will be good for the trout.

As I walked down the river I noticed some hefty trees have been taken away at the bandstand.

Some hard work

Some hard work

Of course as they had used some hefty machinery the fence was totally destroyed. I was just thinking about the access when…



As we walked back up the path I made a mental note to maybe contact the council about the fence as if I had not been on my guard the youngest could have been wallowing around in the muddy water – or worse if it had been a full on spate their could be a serious accident.

I getting to be such an old fart!

I know that the Kelvingrove area is popular with tourists however today I must have heard a dozen different accents and languages all of them snapping away happily away with their cameras. You know, as I wandered around it really is a lovely spot for the tourists. I wondered about any of the blokes walking around whether they were looking at the kelvin and wondering if it held any fish or whether they had asked some of the locals and was told it was a smelly sewer and wrote it off.

We stopped off at various points to see if we could spot any salmon in this for want of a better word “spate” however in the few minutes I was their I did not spot any diving over the weir.

Lovely height though!

Lovely height though!

There is actually a possibility that this is water straight from the roads, water that has essentially just washed through the storm drains due to localised floods like what happened recently when a water main burst up at the Vet School. I would be interested in hearing from anyone that has monitored the river over the last few days whether it has been any higher than it is just now.

Just remembered that my wife is on nightshift on Saturday night so I am out of action another 48 hours!