Kelvin Badges?

I like the idea of the new start we have had on the Kelvin and thought it would be nice to commemorate it in some way.  I keep hearing about these mythical “Gold Cards” that some guys got years ago when the association was formed and obviously it would be good to have done something on the 20th anniversary and the 25th anniversary is 4 more years ago so it would be nice to come up with something a bit sooner.

I was actually thinking about a rather snazzy enamel badge for each member. We could get get one for trout only permits and one for Salmon. I kinda half thought we could get a new badge for each year however considering how difficult it is to organise the permit packs maybe we could buy some of them and the members could order them from us?

We do not have a lot of folk on the Kelvin that buy the Trout/fly only ticket on the Kelvin. At £15 it is pretty good value for folk that want to add an extra river on to their existing list of rivers they fish in the West of Scotland and I was wondering if a custom badge would be something that may make them stand out a little bit more. At the moment a lot of guys are using the handy attachment on the back of their permit and attaching it on to their waistcoat or bag and I think that is great as it means you can instantly see whether someone has a permit or not. This is what I have been doing over the last season after being pulled up by a member when I was not carrying mine. The rules clearly state that if you catch a Salmon you must have your permit and your tags with you and I think that is why a lot of Salmon anglers have taken to wearing their badge at all times.

Personally I would rather have something that I could easily attach to my waistcoat and then forget about it – just like a wee badge.

What do you guys think?


Video Nasty!

Midway through the season I bought myself a wee handheld video cam – this wee thing here:

Kodak PlaySport Zx5 Full HD 1080P, Waterproof, Dustproof and Shockproof – Aqua

I had grand designs of taking some videos throughout the season however this is all I managed!


Fear em’


Otterly Good!

Went fishing on the Kelvin after work for an hour. River at a great height and the color of strong tea without the milk. Caught nothing however lots of trout rising….

Trout rising....

Trout rising….

The undergrowth is now at its wildest and it is strange to think that the end of the season is on its way. I spotted what I thought was a salmon however it turned out to be an otter..

The Kelvin Otter

The Kelvin Otter

It splashed about a bit and then after spotting me headed into the bushes. After a few moments the trout started to rise again.

I kind of regretted not going after the salmon however all my gear is in storage……

Off to Hamburg for a Stag weekend so no fishing, you can see some drunken mayhem on my twitter feed possibly. 

Well, that wee gem was insanely difficult…

After work I gained my early pass and drove to the starting point of a path that led close to the burn. As I was getting my gear together I realised that I had left my forceps and snips back at the house. No matter, I drove back to the house and picked them up; the only thing taking the time was the dodgy right turn onto the main road.

I heard a roaring noise as soon as I got close the burn and knew it was going to be a bit fuller after the rain we had last night. It was, and was totally fishable. At the bottom of the first big waterfall I caught maybe half a dozen, all micro trout with one slightly larger. I never managed to take pictures of the larger trout so you can imagine them instead.

I had no idea this was so close to where I am living...

I had no idea this was so close to where I am living…

Standard micro trout...

Standard micro trout = 2.5lb rainbow…

It was a fairly steep ascent as there is a series of these waterfalls and at the bottom of each I would pick up a few trout. It was when I reached the last one that the problems started. This area has a fascination (a bit like North Lanarkshire) for barbed wire – I swear even some of the trees had the stuff wrapped around. It was not even a simple case of walking up the middle of the burn as every 50 yards an obstruction was across the river coated in barbed wire – even a metal fence had a wad of the stuff for good measure.

Trick casting...

Trick casting…

Added to the barbed wire was the issue with the casting. After the first few pools I was starting to regret not bring a Tenkara rod with me. I had considered it in the morning however it was one of the things I had left out the car after I had cleaned it on holiday.

Better with the Tenkara rod

Better with the Tenkara rod

Lots of micro trout...

Lots of micro trout…

The bigger trout were not that much bigger.

I scrambled back to the car as I decided to head to the Kelvin for a bit, turned out SEPA lied and it was up around a couple of feet…



Lots of Salmon coming off the Kelvin just now, I am still trout focused!



Gem Found!

Google maps examined, gem found on edge of housing estate..

But does it hold trout?

But does it hold trout?

Permission sought and granted to fish before the boys go to bed so that my fishing and exploring time is maximized – rain started within a half hour of this being granted. As I write this I am renegotiating for the pass to be transferred to tomorrow!


It happens too often…

I have a history with my pal Alex around having crazy days involving boats – Saturday was no different, due in part to the weather forecast which was was heavy rain for the whole day. It did not put us off though as we were heading back to Katrine in search of Pike and Trout. We had fished it last season and even though we had not caught any pike we had caught some trout and it was a lot of fun. We kinda thought something was up however as the chap who organises the boats was a bit late. It turns out that he was not going to let us out on the loch because of the weather – sure it was a bit breezy but it was pretty good conditions for fishing. Seemingly the wind had to change later and they were not willing to let us out. We were disappointed however got a weak coffee and a nice roll n’ bacon out of it.

We headed over to Loch Venachar  instead where even though the guy thought we were a bit crazy due to the rain still gave us a boat.

The weather was changeable..

We could see the waves of rain coming across the hills....

We could see the waves of rain coming across the hills….

The rain stopped for a couple of sessions and the sun came out, these were the times we caught fish..

The rain stopped for a couple of sessions and the sun came out, these were the times we caught fish..

It is always tricky fishing somewhere new and even more difficult when the conditions are against you, still we each caught a Pike…

Alex was please with his Pike

Alex was please with his Pike

In these conditions any fish is a good fish.

In these conditions any fish is a good fish.

As we cruised around the loch we gazed at the chaps on the bank, lots of them had tents and bivys. There was a fair few fires on the go as well, in fact one chap decided he could not be bothered carrying his huge umbrella back to his car so he decided to burn it on his fire. Of course he left the debris of the brolly as well as his metal rod rest sticking out the mud but it looked like a long couple of hundred yards back to his car.

We get that a lot on the Kelvin as well, guys that just do not give a monkeys. A lot of these guys had been camped out overnight as well.

At last - a fish!

At last – a fish!

Obligatory hero shot!

Obligatory hero shot!

During one of the lulls in the rain we witnessed a very strong rainbow ..

Rainbow shining high..

Rainbow shining high..

It was in fact a double rainbow, you can see the other one just above the strongest one.

Later, after our session on the loch had finished we headed over to the big loch to see if we could catch any more Pike from the bank. However as we were setting up the wind caught up with us and things got a bit breezy.

A bit breezy!

A bit breezy!

We found evidence of other fishers however: footprints, litter and a shot seagull.

Shot through the chest..

Shot through the chest..

I do not want to cast any aspersions on the characters of the individuals that shoot seagulls and burn umbrellas however I have noticed a distinct amount of headbangery in their lineage. Their are general bylaws about not lighting fires and no wild camping as well as alcohol free zones and it seems to me that only certain folk follow these laws. That is, folk that actually cause problems through drinking alcohol in public as well as wild camping (through not tidying up after themselves) will continue to do so despite the law. Folk that actually consider laws and democracy in society to be meaningful will try and uphold them. However, the Police and Park Rangers would probably not tackle a bunch of guys drinking heavily setting fires  however are happy to tackle a single lassie waiting for the T in the Park bus while she is swigging a single bottle of beer.

Finding the shot seagull was weirdly not long after I had retweeted The Suburban Bushwackers call to arms about air guns being licensed in Scotland. Personally I do not believe the above legislation would actually do much good as the crazy folk who would shoot birds would continue to do so while other folk like myself would decide not to buy an airgun due to the paperwork etc.

Anyway, I think it is time I caught a trout again and there is a tiny stream not to far from me so this week I may hit its ass in anger!







So I happened upon a man masturbating in the park the other evening..

Good evenings fishing interrupted by chap with his jeans and pants at his ankles in the bushes, he coughed and tried to pull them up.

I looked him straight in the eye and said “Awright Mate”

He carried on and I fished the pool in front of him.

It was all a bit awkward!

I posted it to twitter..


So a mixture of admiration, curiosity about what attracts nature masturbation addicts and a weird need to know the location of the masturbatory action was the general theme on twitter for the rest of the evening.

As an aside I overheard two boys discussing wanking while I was travelling on the bus the other day, one asked the other “You ever had a suicide wank?” the other boy asked him what it was. “Well, you go at it as hard as you can and just as your are aboot tae cum you shout as loud as you can fur yer Maw. Its suicide if you huvnae finished by the time she gets tae yur room”

I cannot decide whether to shut the comments or not, what the hell, lets see what you guys have to say!



Dock Crane Porn ##Fixed##


The Urban Fly Fisher – 10 years old today!

Happy Birthday!

You wont find an older fly fishing blog that is for sure!


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