Do you want to join my Urban Alliance?

This is a three part post – today the setup and later  all going well will be the reveal – I will then give you a bit of time to think before I act. This will be a hard task my friends – I do not want to say at this stage what it is however rest assured that I do not think “short term”

The explanation and reveal has three parts as I have a big job ahead of me – I intend to form an angling alliance. I need all my readers to come with me on this journey  – even the crazy one!

It seems like any old bunch of self important wannabes group of pals can get together with a common goal and cobble a website together and call themselves a fishing club – so why not me?

Exactly – why not?

I remember being a wee boy and forming “clubs” with pals – never gangs as they were scary and we were not allowed to be in gangs by our Mothers – clubs were OK as you get “Youth Clubs” however “Youth Gangs” take on a whole new meaning – probably involving tattoos and smoking wacky backy.

My Mother would not have approved!

So as kids wee boys have “Dungeon and Dragons” clubs or simply the  “play in the woods”  club. As they get older things get a little more complicated and wee boys join more “official” clubs like the Boys Brigade or the Scouts and you begin to see there is a hierarchy in clubs that is adhered to (usually).

Later in life boys might go on and join even more serious clubs like the Masons or even the BBC and things get even more complicated and wee boys ruffle their feathers with kid on importance.

So what makes people join clubs, and what makes a club tick?

A Reason..

Well – a reason for the club to be actually in existence is a start – lets just talk about fishing clubs though or we will be here all day.

It could be a club centred around a reservoir, a river, a part of a river, a stretch of a canal, an area of coast line, a sea angling club etc  – there are many examples of groups of guys just banding together and calling themselves a club – some take themselves far too seriously while others are more down to earth and get on with the job of being excellent fisherman.

Generally the worse angler they are the more seriously they take their own club.

The reason for my club will be shown in part two – which is a moon away yet – lets just say it takes Urban to a whole new level – that’s right – a whole new level!

Lets look at the punters and how to rule them..

Structure of the Regime

A club usually has a structure – if the club is big it should have a “Office Bearers” as big clubs need serious people to run them like a treasurer and Presidents or Chairman etc – The Kelvin Angling Association is slightly different as it is not a club – it is an association of anglers working together for the common good.

Beware of small clubs only made up of office bearers and a few hangers on- they will probably think they are something special when in actual fact they are just a group of desperadoes. Ideally the people in charge should not be best pals – you need a healthy distrust of each other to get shit done.

I am expecting a huge influx of members in my alliance so will need a suitable title for the man in charge – there will be no President or Vice President though – no Chairman etc – it shall be run with an iron fist by a power hungry spin doctoring dictator.

I will give you one guess who it shall be?

That’s correct – moi – the only person I trust enough to give this awesome responsibility is myself.

Do not worry my friends I will be a benevolent dictator and will cater for everyone …

NO Sexual Discrimination

NO Sexual Discrimination in the club

I will need some ground rules for my followers members..

Rules ( A Constitution)

I wont lie to you – I have had some experience in creating constitutions – a constitution is essentially a blue print of how the alliance will operate. They are usually used to gain funding from the National Lottery or to prove that you are a proper club to someone/ anyone that will listen – however do not trust a fishing club constitution in times of strife as they are essentially one big lie in the wrong hands.

However I jest (or do I) – being the natural leader of my new alliance I shall give forth some basic commandments for my serfs members.


I have work ahead of me – my new alliance will require a detailed explanation of what it involves – it must have a reason (a place), a structure (possible dictatorship) and rules (just in case any bugger decides to play silly buggers)

I wont lie to you – I have an idea for all three – I have a place arranged (well half arranged), a structure (a dictatorship) and rules (one rule)

If I asked you right now to join would you do it?


  1. JimL · February 24, 2010

    At some point we’re drinking Kool Aid… yeah?

  2. Jockayethenoo · February 24, 2010

    “El Suprimo” or “The Big Yin” mmmh, people might think the second one is weightest ?? 😎

  3. alan atkins · February 24, 2010

    Jimmy Jones eat your heart out!

  4. Jockayethenoo · February 24, 2010

    Alan said – “Jimmy Jones eat your heart out!”

    poor Kool Aid have been desperately telling everyone it was another companies product ever since Jimmy and his gang topped themselves :-/

  5. suburban bushwacker · February 24, 2010

    You, me, the mighty J Quinn and a refreshing glass of kool aid, by the river, I should coco.

    PS We went fishing, got very muddy, froze our butts of. He’s as funny as ever. post to come

  6. Alistair · February 24, 2010

    Looking forward it SBW 🙂

  7. JimL · February 24, 2010

    Jockayethenoo said –
    poor Kool Aid have been desperately telling everyone it was another companies product ever since Jimmy and his gang topped themselves :-/

    Poor old Kool Aid… They’ve got no chance. 🙂

  8. peter · February 24, 2010

    Ah, 1978, a vintage year for Kool Aid (or was it Flavour Aid?)

  9. Alistair · February 24, 2010

    Is noone in the least bit interested in the place and purpose?

  10. Jockayethenoo · February 24, 2010

    go on then, tell us more about the “place and purpose”!!!

  11. Alistair · February 24, 2010

    No chance – walls have ears n’ all that!

Comments are closed.